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Brian writes monologue jokes every day. “This is one of those days,” to misquote Fred Durst. You can find more at and tell him he’s a muffin on Twitter @BrianLisi. Thank you.
Published October 26, 2012 110 views More Info »
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So far in Ohio, 60 percent of early voters have voted for President Obama. Thankfully being unemployed gives you a lot of free time.

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Hillary Clinton suggested she may stay on as secretary of state. Though that doesn't mean she's outright saying no to hosting a show on Fuse.

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Syria's army has called for a truce for four days to observe the Muslim holiday Eid. Like Christians, they also respect acting like they're faithful twice a year.

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In an interview with Rolling Stone, Obama refers to Mitt Romney as a "bullshitter." Not totally unfair since Romney promised four years ago to close Guantanomo Bay.

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Meanwhile, Colin Powell has once again endorsed Obama for president. Said Powell, "Unlike last time, this is entirely because we're both black."

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Meteorlogists say a snowstorm/hurricane amalgam may hit the Northeast next week. Likewise, there's a 60 percent chance of me using the word amalgam again, because it's fantastic.

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WikiLeaks says it will be releasing documents that cover detainment policies in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay. The government particularly concerned Red Robin will realize they plagiarized their handbook.

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A NYPD officer has been accused of plotting to cook his girlfriend. Yes, but did she threaten him?

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Regarding his comments about pregnancies resulting from rape, Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock said, "It's wrong when someone wants to take what I said and twist it." That's Richard Mourdock: Not afraid to call someone out for politicizing comments a politician made about rape victims during a political debate.

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In response to Mourdock's comments, Obama said  “rape is rape” while appearing on "The Tonight Show." Like Jay Leno needed another reminder of what he did to Conan O'Brien.

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Following months of steady GDP growth, Britain's recession is officially over. Said the government, "Thank you, backs of young people wanting to go to college."