Emails I Wish the Obama Campaign Had Sent

Anyone who has been receiving countless emails from Obama's camp knows that the subject lines are becoming more oddly familiar and casual, as if to trick every curious recipient into actually reading the email because...maybe Obama really wrote me directly!? No, he didn't. His team is just trying to get you to donate $3 or buy a bumper sticker. So here are some actual email titles I received from the Obama campaign and then MY versions of what I thought they might be about.

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"You're the first to know"
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"What's stopping you?"
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"Last chance at dinner"
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"It's officially over"
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"Put this on your car"
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