10 Things You'd Never Want To Be Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close To You

Somethings in close proximity make you wish you were hit by an airplane.
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An Accordionist
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Whoever invented this instrument deserves to be beaten to death with one.


A Hippopotamus
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Sometimes un unhindgable jaw can be a gift from God.  But when it's attached to a 4,000 lb pig-like-mammal with ivory canine teeth, you're probably better off getting the fuck away.


Fran Drescher
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With earplugs, she may not actually be that bad.


A Vuvuzela
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"Ahhh!!! A swarm of killer bees!!!"

"No, it's worse! It's a stadium full of Vuvuzelas!!!!"


A Congressman
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With or without their clothes on.


Skip Bayless
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People like Skip Bayless are the reason why I'm pro-choice.


An Occupier
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No, I don't have time to stand with the 99%. I need to go deposit my paycheck at the bank which is located in MIDTOWN, not WALL STREET.


Nickleback
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How the hell'd this band become so popular?


Red Sox Fans
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We get it, you were fans before 2004. 2004 was amazing. 2004 was incredible. 2004 wa- SHUT THE HELL UP!!


A Live Action Tom Hanks Movie Since Charlie Wilson's War
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Angels and Deamons, Larry Crowne, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Whatever the Fuck That Movie Is Supposed To Be About... Seriously Tom get your act together.

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