Somethings in close proximity make you wish you were hit by an airplane.

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Stats & Data

January 18, 2012

An Accordionist

Whoever invented this instrument deserves to be beaten to death with one.

A Hippopotamus

Sometimes un unhindgable jaw can be a gift from God.  But when it's attached to a 4,000 lb pig-like-mammal with ivory canine teeth, you're probably better off getting the fuck away.

Fran Drescher

With earplugs, she may not actually be that bad.

A Vuvuzela

"Ahhh!!! A swarm of killer bees!!!" "No, it's worse! It's a stadium full of Vuvuzelas!!!!"

A Congressman

With or without their clothes on.

Skip Bayless

People like Skip Bayless are the reason why I'm pro-choice.

An Occupier

No, I don't have time to stand with the 99%. I need to go deposit my paycheck at the bank which is located in MIDTOWN, not WALL STREET.


How the hell'd this band become so popular?

Red Sox Fans

We get it, you were fans before 2004. 2004 was amazing. 2004 was incredible. 2004 wa- SHUT THE HELL UP!!

A Live Action Tom Hanks Movie Since Charlie Wilson's War

Angels and Deamons, Larry Crowne, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Whatever the Fuck That Movie Is Supposed To Be About... Seriously Tom get your act together.