We've all had the conversation, "what is the greatest movie of all time?" Well allow me to throw a new candidate into the mix. Of course, after you see my argument, you'll realize, this was a no brainer.... more »
We've all had the conversation, "what is the greatest movie of all time?" Well allow me to throw a new candidate into the mix. Of course, after you see my argument, you'll realize, this was a no brainer. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Commando starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. « less
Arnold carries a log, eats ice cream, teaches karate, swims, goes fishing, and has a sandwich... all before the credits stop rolling.
#9 The Acting
Arnold is not a terrible actor, but he's not good either. So, I feel like the producers of Commando came up with a sure fire way to maximize his thespian skills. They surrounded him with a cast worse than he is. BRILLIANT! Other than a 7 year old Alias Milano and a quick Bill Duke cameo, name one actor commando? I didn't think so. Which leads me to...
#8 The Female Lead
I'm not sure what her name is (the actor or the character), but her casting may have been a stroke of genius. I mean not only do you get Arnold killing and maiming and blowing up shit, but the movie comes with a built in drinking game. Every time she whines, drink. Every time she says something annoying, drink. Every time you wish Arnold would just back hand her and say, shut de fuk up, drink.
#7 Skill Saw Blades
#6 The Greatest Sound Track Ever
Is it Caribbean? Is it 80s jazz? Who knows? Who cares? It's Awesome. Of Course I don't have a picture of the music, so here's another bad ass shot of Arnold.
#5 The Special Effects
I don't know about you, but I get tired of every big budget action film being 90% CGI. Commando takes it old school by using practical effects. What, you don't believe those shots weren't CGI? Well you’re in luck, because the film makers were kind enough catch a few on camera, just to prove it's all real. Are those guards on sticks? Absolutely. Is that a springboard launching a stunt man? You better believe it.
#4 That Shopping Spree
Tell me you haven't always wondered what they're hiding in the back of those surplus stores. Thanks to Commando, now we know.
#3 The Body Count
The final tally of dead bodies: 102 (Matrix) 7(everybody else). All of this done with one man, 4 guns, some mines, a half used rocket launcher, a couple of grenades, a shed full of garden tools, a knife, and a pipe. And you wonder why this man was elected governor of California.
#2 The Greatest Collection Of Arnoldisms In One Movie
Forget T2 for the best movie with Arnold being Arnold, this movie has the classics (I'll be back, get out, the pain yell) as well as a solid collection of originals. "Remember Silly, when I said I would kill you last... I lied." or the films climatic moment, "let off some steam Bennett." which brings me to number one...
#1 Freddy Mercury As The Greatest Villain Ever...
Oh wait, that wasn't Freddy Mercury? it sure looked like him, not to mention he seemed pretty gay. I wasn't sure if this guy wanted to kill Arnold or oil him up and put him in a diaper. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Also, how genius was it to cast opposite the most physically fit man of a generation, the flabbiest, least threatening looking guy ever. Who would ever expect a guy wearing a macramé chain mail shirt would rank right there with the T1000, the Predator, and Tom Arnold. Just that mustache alone could take over most South American countries.