The end of the year is finally here, so you can check out my collection of 30 super funny women that you can't live without! These ladies will have you laughing all through the year, so check them out and be sure to follow them on Twitter! Enjoy!
By Paul Franke December 30, 2012 5.4k views More Info
104 Funny Votes
32 Die Votes
Published December 30, 2012


Favorite Tweet Pick: "I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard."


Favorite Tweet Pick: "Dumbest thing I've done today? Ordered a burger with mozzarella sticks on it. Would I do it again?"


Favorite Tweet Pick: "i wonder whether people are ever super intimidated by me at parties. like, "there goes the joe mantegna of fake texting."

claudia cogan

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I want the Mac loading icon to do that over my nipples."


Favorite Tweet Pick: "When are they going to invent a thing you have to blow into before a tweet or text can be sent?"

Lydia Dominick

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Maybe if I make an awkward pass at my laundry it'll get uncomfortable & I'll never see it again.  That's how the rest of my life works?"


Favorite Tweet Pick: "Whenever someone says "Oh you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"


Favorite Tweet Pick: "I just ate a huge plate of nachos but somehow I'm still lonely"

Amber Jaime

Favorite Tweet Pick: "If Twitter is a popularity contest, it looks like the middle aged married people are winning."

Hot Mini Donuts

Favorite Tweet Pick: "gave a cute boy a ride in my car & all these cans of corn i had in the trunk were rolling around. i was like "idk what that is" lol i knew"


Favorite Tweet Pick: ""Webster's Dictionary defines 'Susan' as 'Not my real mom and never will be'..." - Opening line of the toast I'm giving at my dad's wedding"

erin mallory long

Favorite Tweet Pick:"... "Just loving life, watching TV with the hubs." - the Facebook status of every girl I went to high school with"  

Future Ex-Wife

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Get hoarders addicted to crack, they'll sell off all their shit. Boom, problem solved."

Jen Goldberg

Favorite Tweet Pick: "It makes me sad that my dog thinks I made him a pizza."

Kate Berlant

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Can't stop dreaming about endless loss & sushi"

Maryann Mosh

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Just dismissed my low battery warning while watching a porn. It's a fight to the finish now."

Megan Neuringer

Favorite Tweet Pick: "i'm dating a rake. he fucks me and leaves. #perfectjoke"

Meryl O'Rourke

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Instead of buying the new Killers album, why not leave a Bruce Springsteen record on a radiator then play it at the wrong speed?"

Mindy Furano

Favorite Tweet Pick: ""Please, after you. You need it more than we do! Sorry. You know what I'll just leave, take my cart." - Canadian Black Friday"

Molly Aboud

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I try not to think about the series of events that prompted a business to post a NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS sign on the door."


Favorite Tweet Pick: "The collective noun for a group of Kardashians is called a "whored." A "whored of Kardashians." Try using it in a sentence today."

Rachel Risen

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Dear little girl blowing up the airport bathroom while belting Disney tunes..that sort of fearlessness will take you far in life. I promise"

Courtney Brown

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Hey, why don't you make like a tree and die in the winter."

Jess Dweck

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm glad Mississippi decided an egg isn't a person, but I wish someone would tell them Febreze isn't a shower."

Jennifer L.

Favorite Tweet Pick: "Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!!!"

Sofiya Alexandra

Favorite Tweet Pick: "which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills"

Nicole Betz

Favorite Tweet Pick: Men will never know the simple pleasure of planning their day around the absorbency of their tampon.""


Favorite Tweet Pick: "Did we go swimming? Is this Nutella? Did I smoke pot, 1000 cigarettes... and a Black&Mild?" -a very hungover girl smelling her hair""

Kelly Green

Favorite Tweet Pick: It's really more of a blowhobby than a blowjob.""

Sarah Beattie

Favorite Tweet Pick: "I'm terrified of saying ranch dressing out loud because I don't want christina aguilera crashing through my wall like the kool-aid man"