Whether it's due to malicious parents, differnt cultures or just plain bad luck, some people are saddled with names that are, for want of a better term, complete muffinoads of dogwank. We're all aware of joke names such as Amanda Huggenkiss and Seymour Butts, but what about those unfortunate souls who seem to have their names lifted wholesale from the "Carry On" films?
Take Ol' Rusty Kuntz up there or award winning composor Thomas Wanker; hell, I went to school with a child named Troy Watt. A fairly innocuous name, right? Until you see it on the attendance form as T.Watt, of course, then the name takes on a whole new dimension.
The emotional trauma of having your name identified with genitalia is responsible for 17% of suicides, according to statistics I just made up.
If you work for a suicide hotline, chances are you will encounter one of the following poor souls during your tenure. Be kind to them. God knows that life hasn't.
Follow Sean on TWITTER.