Honest Tips on how to be a better boyfriend/girlfriend. Tips to live by! More tips coming soon! Check us out on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/ICupid/305566466156447 and our blog at http://icupidustupid.blogspot.com/

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January 17, 2012

Tip #1

Lets just be reasonable here- you don't love me after the first date. Well actually, I'm pretty freaking incredible. But i definitely don't love you after the first date.

Tip #2

If you're not yelling, cussing doesn't sound so bad really. Say "you fucking bitch" calmly. See?

Tip #3

To women- Guy's night doesn't mean strip clubs. To men- Guy's night totally means strip clubs.

Tip #4

Men -Complimenting a girl's boobs isn't as sweet as you might think. Women- If I tell you that you look pretty, don't say "we're crazy". I'll fucking slap you. And don't even think of dropping the "I'm so fat" line. I'll punch you in the rib cage. And if i can punch your rib cage, clearly you're not fat. Kapeesh?

Tip #5

Dates are always better when people pay for their own shit anyway. Did you really need to get the Strawberry Blended Lemonade? It doesn't have bottomless refills. But that little fact didn't stop the waitress from bringing you a new one every 10 minutes. Fuck you Joann, that's coming out of your tip.

Tip #6

What's worse is when you buy both at the same time. Basically you're letting the salesperson know you plan on inserting your "evidence" into her "crime scene". Oh, how i love the visual that gives me.

Tip #7

But it does qualify as "going out". So if she complains that "we never go out", friends are welcome. But if she complains "we never go on dates" then let Mike And David know that you're busy with Steph Friday night. You guys can do "Edward Forty-Hands" on Saturday Night. She could never hang anyway.

Tip #8

But if she constantly interrrupts and asks questions like "what are those lines for?", "what do downs mean", and "what's an assist" then feel free to consistently question the plot lines, the love triangles, and who fathered Blair's baby.

Tip #9

Also controls AC, heater, and gets the better cupholder. All the passenger gets is two air vents and the window controls, which the driver has the right to lock.

Tip #10

Never apologize- stubborn ass. Always apologize- Whiny bitch. Thin line. Walk the middle.