Every Pinterest Board Post Ever

DAMMIT women just love taking and posting pictures of their nails. And DAMMIT if other women don't love encouraging them.  

Pinterest-ers LOVE posting these. They're all things you've heard before and have forgotten because they were dumb - but check out this pinterest post because it's in a new font! 

I put quotes around this because most people think they're being clever Martha Stewarts with their design and fuctional style ideas. But they're not. They're usually just bedazzling rulers or putting cotton and shells in glass jars. 

Weddings are probably THE reason Pinterest was started. Women love bookmarking ideas for their ceremony to their honeymoon. Personally, it just makes me glad I don't have to go to all these people's weddings because everything just looks hideous. I should mention most women with wedding pinboards probably are still single. 

There's a lot of recipes that sound gross and artsy shots of a chicken pot pie on Pinterest that users immediately post in hopes 141 strangers will re-pin their recipe for validation. And guess what? This is THE place for validation. So post away the pics of your aioli chipotle amuse bouche, you little Top Chef, you.

Pinterest-ers cannot recommend stuff they use highly enough! They have discovered every secret in the trade (try hairspray to make it stick...six day old poop turns to rubber!) and know every product you should get for any situation. None of these tips are revolutionary - I'd probably learn more from a 5th grader's science project than your amateur hour ad here. 

Oh good, everyone is posting all those same posters my boring college roommate put up to seem cultured. Thanks for showing me that you know about a piece of art the entire world already knows about.  

I love dogs, I do, but I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with a picture of your dog. Maybe I should create a new pinboard called "Animals I'm Going to Marry" and drag your dog's picture into it? Just a thought.

You saw a picture of a drink online with an umbrella?? That's CRAZY! Thanks for sharing! I'm totally serving alcohol at my next party. Starting a "Hostess with the Mostest!" pinboard right now!

We get it, you have or want a baby. But I already get this all day on my Facebook feed, I don't need it here. On second thought, this will fit nicely into my "Things that aren't relevant to me at this point in my life" pinboard.