Bucky Larson vs The Help

The Help is a film about a societal outsider who uses her  art to fight an injustice in society. So is Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.  Skeeter in The Help uses writing  to fight the battle of where housekeepers can and cannot poop. Bucky uses film to make women who are having sex with guys with little penises feel good about what their getting, which would in turn make the men happier, which would in turn make everybody a lot less dickish about where the house keeper get’s to poop.

Skeeter and Bucky where both given cute poop nicknames.

No matter how poorly Bucky does, this fall, at a jr. high near you

some kid in a gym locker is being given the name “Bucky.”

It will stick for the rest of his school career. He will die alone.

At the same time a mother is calling her daughter “Skeeter”  as

passive aggressive swipe that means “Stop being a vegetarian and

make some grand kids.” The daughter will dabble in lesbianism and then

give up her dreams.

The main joke in each film comes from the crotch. For The Help it’s

a poop joke. For Bucky it’s a small penis joke. Both jokes are recurring

and both jokes are essential to the plot. Both jokes live on the same rung

Of the taste ladder. 

The Help gives middle aged white ladies exactly

What they want: lots and lots of hot gratuitous baby

Shots.

Bucky Larson does the exact same thing for teen age boys,

except with boobies.

The Help chooses the shockingly stereo typical food

“fried chicken” to be the food that heals black peoples

souls.  There are a million less racially charge

Southern foods like Corn bread. But nope.

“Fried Chicken makes a whole lot of things better.”

Bucky Larson uses the shockingly stereo typical cure

small penised white guys notoriously use

To cure their small dickishness: Lots and lots of money. 

The most normal, good and relatable character in Bucky Larson is played by Mario Joyner who is a decent, successful, normal guy, who is also black.

In The Help if you’re black you can be a maid, or a fry cook or

unemployed. The message of the film isn’t about the lack

of jobs with futures for blacks in that community, it’s about being nice to the people you pay to love your children. I think if you swap “The South” with “Hollywood” and “Blacks” with “Mexicans” this movie makes more sense.

Both movies really like women that are…uh, kinda, dingy…uh…

Sluts(?)

Celia Foote in The Help is  the town skank  and she’s so dense

she doesn’t even realize she’s not supposed to eat fried chicken

with the help. What a whore.

The porn girls in Bucky Larson don’t shun Bucky and his small penis

(because it’s there job) which allows him to help men all over the

world with their own romantic issues.  What whores.

Both Emma Stone and Nick Swardson got grief for their haircut

choices. The internet seems to gives a shit about this.

Both Bucky and Skeeter are Romantically inept.  Skeeter’s mother is concerned

that Skeeter is going to be Spinster or Lesbian. This is apparently a huge fear

among middle class white women, because they cackled every time the subjects of

lesbianism and spinsterism where broached at the screening I saw. Emma leaves town

alone because a trouble making big mouth would never find a man in the south. Word of

Warning ladies. 

Bucky is so naive he doesn’t know how to masturbate. He also doesn’t realize that his

small package is a problem in his desired field. Bucky meets and falls in love with Christina

Fucking Ricci with in five minutes of showing up in Hollywood inspite of his sexlessness

because this movie is bullshit.

In The Help Skeeter convinces the maids to have the courage to share their stories

so that people would some how figure out that white people weren’t super nice to

black people in the 60’s. And she was right, they’re weren’t.

In Bucky Larson Don Johnson convinces the Korean Mafia that guys with small dicks

will want to look at guy’s with even smaller dicks naked. And he’s right, in the film,

they do. 

Finally, both films have unrealistic happy endings.

In real life, Skeeter probably would have been retaliated against

by the locals whose bad behavior she exposed. The retaliation

would likely come in a most horrible manner.

Bucky’s movie probably wouldn’t have made any money, or somebody

would have already done it real life. This lack of success would

Cause the Korean mafia to retaliate against Him in a most horrible manner.