Hi, we are Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney & Newt Gingrich - three truly conservative dudes for America. No really. Shit, we're so conservative, we make Ronald Reagan look like a gay hipster commie.
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Published: March 23, 2012

I am so conservative, I heat my house with Korans

I am so conservative, I unhybridized my wife's Prius

I am so conservative, some of my best friends own churches

I am so conservative, shit, I don't let my wife even vote for myself

I am so conservative, I will deport Native Americans to where the hell they came from

I am so conservative, I’m still browsing with Netscape 1.0

I am so conservative, I believe that the metric system is the antichrist

I am so conservative, I don't let black people use my bathroom

I am so conservative, I believe Henry Ford should have stopped after Model T

I am so conservative, Jeremy Lin might as well be black

I am so conservative, I will bring back black and white television

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