1. Gently, but firmly, push the pirate down into the barrel until he locks into position.
(Use two fingers; three is too many and one just isn't enough)
2. Each player then selects their favorite color swords.
(Sure, condoms ruin the mood, so make it fun by selecting your favorite color!)
3. Then take turns sliding them into the slots on the barrel.
(It ain't no fun if the homies can't have fun. Things have transpired into a gang bang and there's lots of holes to pick from, choose wisely)
4. But, beware! Slide your sword into the wrong slot and up pops the pirate -and that means you're out. Which slot is the wrong one? You won't know because it's a different slot every game.
(Okay so maybe don't stick it in her ear. Just because she got really drunk and let you try anal that one time, doesn't mean it'll be okay a second time)
5. The remaining players take out their swords and start to play again.
(Everybody pulls out, fluffs up, and sticks it back in. Round two, BANG!)
6. The winner is the last player left -and the losers walk the plank!
(Think about puppies, baseball, Oprah, just don't blow your load! Your stamina and commitment will be appreciated and rewarded)