skinnymatt

I did ask for those turds, but the ones you sent were completely desiccated. What good are they for piling on someone's chest while... more »

I did ask for those turds, but the ones you sent were completely desiccated. What good are they for piling on someone's chest while they're sleeping? I'll send you two dollars and soon as I get some fresh turds, Mister. I missed you.

Sorry, I don't mail turds anymore. I think I may have an opening on my... more »

Sorry, I don't mail turds anymore. I think I may have an opening on my Shaved Body Hair mailing list, though. All my hair is infused with essences of body odor, coffee, and whatever left over turds I have laying around my warehouse. We're beginning production on a line of pubic wigs woven out of my excess back hair, which we hope to have available for Christmas.

So you're a security guard of nothing? You protect nothing? Do you work for... more »

So you're a security guard of nothing? You protect nothing? Do you work for Socrates? I had no idea South Carolina was so enlightened.

I still haven't received payment for the last order of turds I mailed you.... more »

I still haven't received payment for the last order of turds I mailed you. The fact that you didn't ask for them does not excuse your financial obligations. You owe me two dollars.