Mark Shaughnessy's Blog
it was craptastic.
it wasn't till i went to Epcot center till i was impressed by 3d. this was before Captain Eo, but it was fantastic. so when i heard My Bloody Valentine was gonna be in 3d, i was pretty psyched. I put aside my hatred of people and got together with some friends to subject myself to the 3d theater experience. i was suprised to see there wasn't many people there, and was excited that i might be able to enjoy the movie without wanting to throttle the necks of the people around me.... but then, alas, they all came pouring in. i knew some some poor sombitch was gonna get knuckles in their teeth.
When the movie started, i was really impressed by the 3d effects, the layers were amazing, if you haven't gone yet, i suggest going to an omni or imax for the full effect. i did not, but was still amazed, and could imagine what it would be like on a larger than life screen. about the movie, i will say, i thought they did a great job. in my opinion it was a quality slasher flick. but those dum kids behind me... ugg.
"She gonna die!" are you sure? this is a horror film, there is a fair chance someone might die...
"Run bitch, Run!" ...now we know what gonna happen here, that is why we came right? picture this, you're working late one night and you are in a Manager's position, so you have to make sure everything is locked up so you have a job the next day, we know it's a movie, but the Manager character is blissfully unaware, but those noises... they should investigate, it is their job, they are responsible. now when you see the man in the gas mask with the pick axe, we all now know to run, but for real, yell all you want, she won't hear you, and she may still die, no matter how much you want to help.
Do keep in mind, this is in 3d, at least that is what the ticket said, and i think that is what the glasses are for, when you see the barrel of a gun pointed at you there is a chance you are gonna see a really cool slow motion bullet shot, but i promise, it won't hit you. shut your dumb mouth... Sigh... great movie though. go see it.
If anyone knows only one thing about me, it's that i like zombies. that is to say, i'm looking forward to a zombie apocalypse more than anything, i don't want one for a pet, nor do i want to control hordes of zombies to do my evil bidding. ever since my first zombie movie, i've wanted to try my luck at survival.
The first zombie movie i ever saw was, " Night of the Comet." If you've never seen it, it's about a night when a comet passes really close to the earth and it emits some sort of radio active horrible, that turns everyone who wasn't hiding in a lead enclosed dwelling into a type of zombie. i thought to myself, "self, that looks truly amazing. i would like to try this." After watching every zombie movie i could get my hands on, i became a little obsessed with the idea that this could acctualy happen, and began explaining, to my loved ones, rules of engagement if there ever was a zombie event.
Recently i saw "Diary of the Dead." the latest in the George A. Romero's dead series. i have to say i was impressed, more than i expected. Film students making a horror movie learn the dead are rising, and try to figure out what to do. One student decides to record the events and upload them to a "zombie survival" site, or some such thing, to out the truth, as the media and goverment are downplaying the event to "eh, this'll pass." while thousands are face raped by the recently undead.
i loved this movie for the simple reason it begs the question, " are we really worth saving?" As a race, is there enough good people out there to want to save them all? it may sound callous for me to think this way, but watch the movie. it shows how the people react, and it is stock footage from real natural disasters, with looting, shooting, and pushing old ladies out of their wheelchairs. You've all seen how awful we can be.
The more fond of these zombie movies i became, the more i wanted it to happen. Not just to test my metal, but i was pretty sick of people, and how important we've become. An event like this would shake everything up. Things would have to change. Sure there would be millions of zombies, death, decay and stench everywhere. But the end result could be wonderful. After the zombies, death and decay are cleaned up, this could be a beautiful place.
who knows, all i know is when it comes, i'll be ready... will you?
Ever since i was a little kid, i've always liked fighting. i would watch every Kung Fu, Samurai, Martial Arts movie i could catch. some weekends i would watch pro wrestiling at my grandfathers house. George "The Animal" Steel was a monster. he was hilarious. and then the ultimate fighting tourniments came out. me and my friends would get crazy bitching about which Martial style was the baddest. For those of you who don't know, before Ken Shamrockesque type fighters introduced the "ground and pound" or "brawling" stuff that occupies seventy percent of most modern heavyweight matches, they used to represent alot more fighting styles in the fights. Crazy Kenpo against Shaolin Longfist, Red Dragon Karate vs. Goju-Ryu Karate, Aikido vs. Wei Chi Ryu... the fights were pretty entertaining. But now, you have Jujitsu, Muay Thai, Kick Boxing, and dirty raping. that's it.
Don't misunderstand, i still watch all the time, but it is so gay. It drives me nuts, all the people who are like"MMA is so bad ass, you're gay if you think it's gay, i'd like to see you fight them..." whatever. i would love to. but the fact still remains, generally speaking, MMA is super gay.
Think about it like this. once upon a time... the Greeks would strip down naked lube up and hold contests of strength where they would try to submit their will on their opponent... wrestiling was born, and it was gay. everyone knows that the Greeks used to love the one they were with, and that was okay, noone judged... but it was still gay.
Japanese Martial arts like Judo,Jujitsu, Karate, Kenpo,Aikido, Sumo, so on. so on, so on, all use similar grappling and submission techniques, and although they wear more clothes, rolling around on the ground with other dudes is a little gay. it's a fact.
People hear me say this, and reply..." you're just a homophobe..." not true. i'm thirty three percent gay, i can match colors well, i like some musicals, Prince , Michael Jackson, and Jamiroquai. i can tell if another dude is handsome or sexy. but i am nowhere near gay enough to roll on the floor and dry hump a man into submission.
So, while i can realize the strength and athletic ability it takes to be a MMA champ, and still watch every match every chance i get, the fact still remains... MMa is super gay.
i finally saw it. when i first heard about it, i was pretty sure it was gonna be badass. not because i like karate or tae kwon do. they're both super gay. but fred simmons or danny mcbride looked the part for real. a total douche bag, but in a super hilarious way. this was a perfect parody of almost every person i've ever met who have done either school. but aside from that, the movie was pretty hilarious, and made me more than a little uncomfortable on several occasions. the fight/breaking scenes were impressive and still funny, and the whole cast was amazing. there were too many quoteable scenes, but i'll leave you with this...
"Let me think about that for a second. Ok, I've thought about it and I think my answer to that question would have to be "fuck you". I don't care if you wake up in a ditch with grown men shitting on you and jumping on top of your head. Maybe your nose will turn into a big ole dick and you can stroke that all the time. I hope your hair turns into dog shit one day. You wake up and you run your comb through it and all that it is, is little trundles of dog shit. The worst shit that you could imagine. AIDS. it's cool. Everything comes around sweetheart."
The Foot Fist Way... it's not just a movie... it's a lifestyle.
