bowl

(0:53) Uncle Tommy's Dirty Limericks! They're quick. They're naughty! They're ridiculously funny!!! They tickle taboo, and they entertain. They're dirty limerick MINI-MOVIES: perfect for ou... more >

(0:53) Uncle Tommy's Dirty Limericks! They're quick. They're naughty! They're ridiculously funny!!! They tickle taboo, and they entertain. They're dirty limerick MINI-MOVIES: perfect for our modern world, yet still ripe with tradition, using a poetic form that has entertained people through the ages. Fast and clever, with equal parts shock and delight -- all performed by one reckless uninhibited actor. They combine the bawdiness of adult humor, the delight of a childish cartoon, the mental acrobatics of wit, the rhythm and rhyme of song, the craftiness of film, and the entertaining antics of a chameleon performer who dresses up in silly costumes to portray many hysterical and often deliciously disturbing characters. Perfect for our fast-paced techno-wondrous lives, where you can carry Uncle Tommy's Dirty Limericks around with you on your iPod, like tasty brain-candy; or call them up on a computer with a swift click, like reaching into a bowl of treats on a side-table. Uncle Tommy loves to make you laugh!... and squirm!... and maybe even -- God forbid -- get aroused! -Uncle Tommy www.dirtyuncletommy.com < less

(1:57) The bowl of soup in this experiment from I CAN MAKE YOU THIN is impossible to finish. The brand-new TLC series I CAN MAKE YOU THIN airs Sundays at 9 PM ET/PT. Paul McKenna’s anti-die... more >

(1:57) The bowl of soup in this experiment from I CAN MAKE YOU THIN is impossible to finish. The brand-new TLC series I CAN MAKE YOU THIN airs Sundays at 9 PM ET/PT. Paul McKenna’s anti-diet approach, a series of mental exercises delivered to the viewing audience through the television, could eliminate the need for counting calories, cutting out carbs, starving yourself, or enduring brutal workouts. http://www.tlc.com/thin < less

(5:08) I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out at the Chow Hall, cause at least the food is free. You can th... more >

(5:08) I flubbed the lines a little bit but recovered. // LYRICS: On a long and hot deployment down in old Ali. You can eat out at the Chow Hall, cause at least the food is free. You can think about Ciano's, Taco Bell, or even Burger King. But your guts will soon be rumblin' the way they always do, when you haven't washed your hands good and you've caught the runny poo. And you almost fell like dying, you've just got to drop the deuce. Here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, hold my calls again, there I go, guts enraged... Now you walk back from the restraunt, on what they call a road. And you feel your stomach churnin' and your guts let out a groan it's intestinal jihad, and your butt just might explode. Sometimes it's called the squirts, other times the bends, but the result is all the same, friggin' Saddam's got his revenge. And when you know its comin', you might as well just wear depends. Yeah here I am, on the bowl again, there I am, I've been here all day. Here I go, stuck in the stall again, there I go, guts enraged. When you need a toilet, it's a million miles away. And everything you ate this week, it comes out in a spray. As the evil leaves your body, like the swear words that you say. Later in the evenin' your still sitting on the pot, the toilet bowl has battle scars, from the war that you have fought. You flush the toilet one more time, please God make it stop! Oh here I am, on the bowl again, here I am, it's ruined my day. And here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go guts enraged. OH HERE I AM, on the bowl again...There I am it's ruined my day. Here I go, I'm stuck in the stall again, there I go... There I go... < less

(3:02) Well, let's look back at what a crazy year 2008 has been. It didn't even last one week without Britney and Li-Lo crowding out the BIG stories, like who's going to be President of Ne... more >

(3:02) Well, let's look back at what a crazy year 2008 has been. It didn't even last one week without Britney and Li-Lo crowding out the BIG stories, like who's going to be President of New Hampshire? And who the heck picks these Bowl teams, anyway? Uncle Jay explains what he can. < less

(6:36) Sirs: My Name is Mitch Wexla and I'd like to share something.Today I received email from my friend Griffin Grunnings. G.G. lives in the vicinity of the Rose Bowl,and apparently has d... more >

(6:36) Sirs: My Name is Mitch Wexla and I'd like to share something.Today I received email from my friend Griffin Grunnings. G.G. lives in the vicinity of the Rose Bowl,and apparently has done very well for himself because his parents are cheap and he can afford to have his laundry done and delivered to him.(G.G. and I were close until 8th grade summer when his parents sent him on extended A.F.S program to Turkey. He says it's because he stole his grandfather's Breitling and pawned it to buy a large Pogs collection. But I know better than to believe him. Because I know how cheap his parents are and how hard they worked that Bosnian girl they hosted.)I haven't seen G.G. in person for quite a while, though with the 10+ forwards he fires off a day, he keeps himself very much in the mix. Lately, with what he claims has been a slow recovery from lead poisoning after he mistook a wax paper bag full of magnetic shavings for ice cream jimmies because he'd rubbed out his right contact, his output of mass emails has hit a new peak. G.G.'s forwards aren't always funny- he sends your fair share of midget-in-a-leg lock, "ten reasons to bring binoculars to the beach" sideshow montage, and the latest animal blooper viral vids. G.G. is ,though, very good about giving is head's up in a subject line when he's passing on anything that's come from the clammy keyboard of his Austrian programmer-cum-gym rat cousin Heindrick. (You'd think Herr Heiny would have more pressing endeavors over at the Vienna Bureau of Information than to penning a four page PDF pictorial on pirate's eye technique with accompanying video mash-ups to speak to his point.)Anyways. Earlier I got a forward from G.G. with the words "iFluffnFold" in the subject line. Obvious first thought was that Heiny had discovered the homepage of a porn actress who came from a gymnastics background. Had G.G. not added "Clean and Hilarious" next to it, it would have been trashed and I would have started my morning. As it turned out, iFluffnFold is the name of G.G.'s laundry delivery service,and they've apparently commissioned a commercial of sorts. Yawn you may. I did.But then it started and somehow I kept watching and as G.G. promised, I laughed. So, kudos to whoever this guy Jim is for making a laundry commercial worth writing home about.And feel better G.G. Your parents may think I'm a liar, but at least I've followed through on my promise here. Submitted by: Mitch Wexla, Pompano, Florida mitch.wexla@gmail.com < less