Search Results For 'diapers'

OLD INDIANA JONES & THE NURSING HOME OF DOOM Osteo-porosis Glau-coma Ar-thritis Vi-agra I'm So old, I'm Old Indy In this Nursing Home, no more Adventures for me I'm so old, I smell like Grandpa Pee Help ! I've fall-en and I can't get up. Life Alert. I'm so old, when I use my whip I'm so old, I always break my hip I'm so old, I can barely see I'm so blind that I never know when I'm done wiping my ass I'm so old, that I'm crotchety When I was your age I had to walk ten miles in the freezing snow or in the rain just to go to school or get a drink and maybe get laid I'm so old, that I shit Dust I'm so old, that I piss Rust I'm so old, vultures are circling me I used to go... more >

OLD INDIANA JONES & THE NURSING HOME OF DOOM Osteo-porosis Glau-coma Ar-thritis Vi-agra I'm So old, I'm Old Indy In this Nursing Home, no more Adventures for me I'm so old, I smell like Grandpa Pee Help ! I've fall-en and I can't get up. Life Alert. I'm so old, when I use my whip I'm so old, I always break my hip I'm so old, I can barely see I'm so blind that I never know when I'm done wiping my ass I'm so old, that I'm crotchety When I was your age I had to walk ten miles in the freezing snow or in the rain just to go to school or get a drink and maybe get laid I'm so old, that I shit Dust I'm so old, that I piss Rust I'm so old, vultures are circling me I used to go on adventures but I can't find my dentures so I don't anymore. Now I can date someone 1/3 my age and I don't break any laws When I was a College professer i'd do your all your daughter's after class but now all I get is your old Grandmas stanky ass. I'm incontinent. I can't hear or see I'm so Old My prostate is killing me i'm so old, i don't care about archeology I would trade 10 lost arks, 100 temple of dooms and even a holy grail full of a never ending supply of pussy just to poop regularly I'm so Old, I look like I had a stroke I'm so Old, I'll sign a Do Not Resusitate Form I'm so Old, I use grecian formula 16 on my pubic hair that's why I traded my whip for a cane and my horse for one of them snazzy electric scooter chairs. yep, now I can get around almost anywhere. These damn false teeth. This damn I.V. These adult diapers. I have no more dignity. This damn Nursing Home. Somebody Just kill me. Please i'm begging. Seriously. I really mean it. Just put me out of my misery already < less

Barbie scored some dynamite X from her pal Lindsay Lohan. Barbie then wandered over to Ken's house where she discovered his vintage Minimoog synthesizer. Barbie began to furiously jam. The racket annoyed neighbors who alerted Ken via his spiffy new I-Phone. Ken immediately jumped into his James Dean replica Porsche Spider and raced home, slowing down only once, swerving to avoid hitting Britney Spears as she leaned out of her stalled car to projectile vomit on the median, wiping her mouth with a dirty diaper. When Ken arrived at his house he found Barbie overdriving the external input on his prize synth. Realising she was in trouble, Barbie employed a trick she learned from Lindsay... more >

Barbie scored some dynamite X from her pal Lindsay Lohan. Barbie then wandered over to Ken's house where she discovered his vintage Minimoog synthesizer. Barbie began to furiously jam. The racket annoyed neighbors who alerted Ken via his spiffy new I-Phone. Ken immediately jumped into his James Dean replica Porsche Spider and raced home, slowing down only once, swerving to avoid hitting Britney Spears as she leaned out of her stalled car to projectile vomit on the median, wiping her mouth with a dirty diaper. When Ken arrived at his house he found Barbie overdriving the external input on his prize synth. Realising she was in trouble, Barbie employed a trick she learned from Lindsay, dropped to her knees and gave Ken "a little treat." Ken lovingly refers to it as "Barbie blowjazz." Everyone was a winner that night, except for Britney who contracted the non-spore forming rod-shaped bacteria Shigella from the soiled diaper. And to add insult to injury, the diaper didn't even belong to her child, it actually belonged to Johnny Grant, the honorary mayor of Hollywood, who had promised to get Britney a "sit-down" with the Weinstein brothers. Of course, that meant a "sit-down on their face." And the beat goes on. < less