Search Results for Yard

Here are some of the best Tiger Woods Jokes I've heard, presented in the form of a Oprah Winfrey Talk Show interview. 1) Why was Tiger Woods in such a hurry at 2:30 in the Morning? He was... more >

Here are some of the best Tiger Woods Jokes I've heard, presented in the form of a Oprah Winfrey Talk Show interview. 1) Why was Tiger Woods in such a hurry at 2:30 in the Morning? He was late getting to the next hole. 2) What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. 3) Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree ? Because his caddie wasn't there to help him decide between an iron and a wood. 4) Why wasn't anybody surprised that Tiger Woods blamed the Crash on his Cadilacc Escalade ? Because it's Typical.....whenever a golfer hits a tree, he always blames it on his Caddie. 5) What Course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble ? Intercoarse. 6) Why was Tiger Woods wife so mad at him? Elin thought she was marrying a Tiger, but found out he's really a Cheatah. 7) Why has Ping Golf decided to Sponsor Elin Woods? So she could Help Sell the Golf Clubs that Beat Tiger Woods. 8) What do Tiger Woods & his wife have in common ? They both try to club his balls as hard as possible. 9) How many women is Tiger Woods currently sleeping with ? "FOUR!!!". 10) After All is said and done, what lesson has Tiiger Woods learned ? Just because you’re the World’s No. 1 Golfer, it doesn’t mean you can’t be beaten by your wife. < less

lyrics: Nate Nurmi produced by: Jordan Tuboly Lyrics: Hello everybody my name is Nathaniel, Do you doggystyle, call me the cocker spaniel, Randal and Daniel, are the names of my balls, Giv... more >

lyrics: Nate Nurmi produced by: Jordan Tuboly Lyrics: Hello everybody my name is Nathaniel, Do you doggystyle, call me the cocker spaniel, Randal and Daniel, are the names of my balls, Give them the phone when dem' hoes call, But my testes, ain't sayin' nothin' back, An awkward conversation when girls talk to my sack, My peers say I suck at rapping, why? I don't suck it's just different guys, When you rap about getting laid and getting paid, I rap about being afraid, Of Gangsta's, Wanksta's, and all you thugs, Being judgemental when I tell you Iv'e never done drugs, Cause I respect my momma, Never kissed a girl, I dont like girl drama, And I sure as hell don't wanna deal with no baby Momma's... Chorus (x2): I use my eyes to see, and my mouth to chew, I use my penis to pee, and my butt to poo Verse 2: My teeny little weenie never reaches 3 inches, If it was any bigger it'd be eatin' by finches, No joke, it happened to my boy JT, His average sized winky was about 4.3 (inches), It happened one day changing into a speedo, This motherf***in' birds ate his dick like a burrito, That's why I like my noodle, nice and small, Shrivels into nothing during winter and fall, And all you rappers who laugh at my meat, We'll see whose laughin' when the birds need to eat, Chorus Verse 3: Hello Motherf***ers my name is JT, And now I have to sit down when I go pee, Cause I ain't got no dick, The sight of my crotch would make whole goddamn clique sick, Those motherf***in' birds are the motherf***in' devil, Tore up my weiner til' it was grinded and disheveled, Bits and pieces, all over the yard, I'll kill those finches with a motherf***in' shard, Let me take you back to that fateful day, I was sittin' on the lawn, Catchin' some sun rays, But it got too hot, So I said I'd take a dip, Lookin' forward to sweet dives and some front flips, So I got my neato speedo, and took it on out, Pulled down my shorts, while I'm eatin' sauerkraut, Put on some sunblock that would come in handy, Next thing I know they ate my dick like candy, (Ate that shit like candy, Motherf***er) Chorus < less

I always wanted to sing a Movie Musical type Song about Dog Shit. DOG SHIT: THE MUSICAL Good morning to you sir And your fine dog sir. A fine day for a walk sir It's a beautiful day But w... more >

I always wanted to sing a Movie Musical type Song about Dog Shit. DOG SHIT: THE MUSICAL Good morning to you sir And your fine dog sir. A fine day for a walk sir It's a beautiful day But waite sir What is your dog doing now sir On my beautiful lawn sir The lawn that i love He's squatting his ass sir And squinching his face sir He's taking a shit sir A really huge shit. Oh my god your mutt is shitting all over my beautiful lawn. The lawn that I regulary inspect for disease, insects and weeds The lawn that I fertilize, water and mow. The lawn that I raised from just seeds! Sir you must pick up that dog shit You really need to pick up that dog shit I demand that you pick up that dog shit And i don't care that you don't have a tissue To pick up that dog shit Use your hands!!! Dog shit I don't want to step in you! Dog shit I don't want you on my shoe Dog shit I don't want to have to remember to Have to walk around you Thank you for picking up the dog shit sir I really appreciate that you picked up the dog shit sir But what are you doing now sir! Don't you dare throw that dog shit at me sir You threw that dog shit at me sir It got in my mouth, you got your dog shit in my fucking mouth! Now i will have my revenge on you sir Cause i am going to follow you home sir And shit all over your yard! That's right i don't have a dog sir So i am going to shit my human shit all over your yard Like your dog did on mine! And i will probably throw my human shit at your house too And maybe even rub shit on your car and wife and kids and dog and then rub your nose in my shit toooo Cause i will have my re-veange sir. Yes I WILL HAVE MY REVEANGE on you SHUT the fuck UP!!! < less