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A homemade video of my brand spankin-new yuletide classic "Fuck Christmas"! For any of you people who can't stand christmas songs, who get stuck w/ their crazy family during the holidays, wh... more >

A homemade video of my brand spankin-new yuletide classic "Fuck Christmas"! For any of you people who can't stand christmas songs, who get stuck w/ their crazy family during the holidays, who miss happier times when all you had to worry about was whether you were going to dress up as Sarah Palin, who walk in to a store and want to scream because they are playing "Let It Snow" and it's not even NOVEMBER.. this one's for you, bitches! xoxoxo Matthew “Fuck Xmas (I Wish It Was Halloween)” Written and performed by Matthew McPeck © 2008 Verse 1: It’s Christmas time The snowflakes are falling And the arguments and accusations are already starting My brothers are stoned, my sisters are hating and mom wants me to find a nice girl and start pro-creating Granny’s brain is mush, she mumbles concurring and if Daddy hadn’t left us by now I’m sure he’d be slurring Verse 2: It’s Christmas time The stockings are hanging And I’d sure as hell prefer it me on that mantle asphyxiating The fire is warm, but the room is so cold More egg nog with my brandy, please Merry Christmas to all! Chorus 1: And if I had one wish this Christmas, I wouldn’t even hesitate I’d beg baby Jesus and Santa to turn the clock back 55 days With my costumes packed away Next Autumn seems so far a wait! Oh how I wish I was with my baby on Halloween! Verse 3: Last year you were Slash, and I was Axl They may hate in real life but to me you are king of the castle! Chorus 2: With our friends dressed as Sarah Palin and Amy Winehouse We’d party through the night and end up at my house… uh huh! I’m a zombie for your love, oh won’t you suck my…blood??? Oh how I miss my baby and Halloween! Bridge: ‘Cause on Halloween we can all be free just to be the freaks we were born to be Verse 4: Now the yule log is playin’ on the telly Everyone is passed out and I’m almost through with this Hell-y Everybody!!! Chorus 1: And if I had one wish this Christmas, I wouldn’t even hesitate I’d beg baby Jesus and Santa to turn the clock back 55 days With my costumes packed away Next Autumn seems so far a wait! Oh how I wish I was with my baby on Halloween! You Hallmark fascists expect me sober When you start playing your f**king songs in October! Hark the heralded devils sing Halloween! So to you holiday-loving sons of bitches Screw you all! And hey! F**k Christmas! All I need is my baby, my baby and Halloween! Fuck Christmas! Santa turn back the clock to Halloween Fuck Christmas! Santa turn back the clock to Halloween Fuck Christmas! Santa turn back the clock to Halloween Fuck Christmas! Please Santa turn back the clock to Halloween… < less

A live recording shot of myself after a long night at the bar with friends. I was working on an album for Spin Records in 2000 & on the way to the studio one morning a friend asked me ... more >

A live recording shot of myself after a long night at the bar with friends. I was working on an album for Spin Records in 2000 & on the way to the studio one morning a friend asked me to write a song about clubbing a baby seal. After I arrived at the studio the suggestion had got stuck in my head & so I started to write this song. A couple of hours later Steve Parnell showed up & suggested I see how many times I could say FUCK in the song. Steve & myself wrote this song strictly as a joke. We have never caught our girlfriends or wives with our moms. We do not advocate the use of any illegal drugs & under no circumstance do we wish any ill will toward any of the seal species. This song is intended to make you smile & nothing more. Peace, mORGAN Douglas < less

7-14-08 I WANNA FUCK YOUR SISTER by mORGAN Douglas Another live video shot in my back living room shortly after beer th... more >

7-14-08 I WANNA FUCK YOUR SISTER by mORGAN Douglas Another live video shot in my back living room shortly after beer thirty one late night. I wrote this song on the 4th of July 2005 trying to make some friends laugh. Once again this song is only meant to make you laugh & or to entertain. I am a happily married man & I can promise you this, "I really don't want to fuck anyone's sister I honestly don't care who they are"!!! I hope you all enjoy... Peace, mORGAN Douglas WARNING: This song is not meant for any small children to hear please keep that in mind. Thank you... < less

RUS GUTIN : BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN CHAPTER 4 : "FUCK DRUG ADz & SALLY FIELD'S BONES!" RUS GUTINz 2008 STAND-UP SPECIAL "BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN" AVAILABLE 2 BUY RIGHT FN NOW @ WWW.RUSGUTIN.COM BI... more >

RUS GUTIN : BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN CHAPTER 4 : "FUCK DRUG ADz & SALLY FIELD'S BONES!" RUS GUTINz 2008 STAND-UP SPECIAL "BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN" AVAILABLE 2 BUY RIGHT FN NOW @ WWW.RUSGUTIN.COM BITCHFACES! < less

RUS GUTIN : BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN CHAPTER 3 - "FUCK CHINA!" RUS GUTIN'S 2008 STAND-UP SPECIAL "BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN" AVAILABLE TO BUY RIGHT FN NOW @ WWW.RUSGUTIN.COM BTCHFACES!

RUS GUTIN : BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN CHAPTER 3 - "FUCK CHINA!" RUS GUTIN'S 2008 STAND-UP SPECIAL "BORN AGAIN COMEDIAN" AVAILABLE TO BUY RIGHT FN NOW @ WWW.RUSGUTIN.COM BTCHFACES! < less

A game show where contestants try to guess if someone is on a Bluetooth...or FUCKING CRAZY. This sketch originated at Sketch Cram!, a show written and performed in a single day at the Uprig... more >

A game show where contestants try to guess if someone is on a Bluetooth...or FUCKING CRAZY. This sketch originated at Sketch Cram!, a show written and performed in a single day at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles. *Follow me on Twitter @Futuristik5000* < less