Emperor

(3:07) The world-famous Naked News reviews the latest Brendan Fraser Mummy epic, Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Complete with living statues, Mongolian kung-fu, yeti fights and Himala... more >

(3:07) The world-famous Naked News reviews the latest Brendan Fraser Mummy epic, Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Complete with living statues, Mongolian kung-fu, yeti fights and Himalayan high adventure, this seems to be a worthy entry into the series. But is it just a lame rip-off of Hellboy 2? What will the girls think? Find out now! < less

(5:36) Warlords of Earth: Lay Down Your Weapons Intergalactic Intelligence Briefing Galactic Ambassador Aglaria StarBase 488 Translator TimePortal 2453960.355208 Hail Ideological Leaders... more >

(5:36) Warlords of Earth: Lay Down Your Weapons Intergalactic Intelligence Briefing Galactic Ambassador Aglaria StarBase 488 Translator TimePortal 2453960.355208 Hail Ideological Leaders of Earth! May you convey this transmission to the emperors and warlords who now threaten your planet's very existence. We have watched as you allowed brutal and murderous criminals to take power over your governments and technologies, as they have sold you tools of death in monstrous forms-- plagues and atomic annihilation, amplified energy and laser cannons... burning holes in the very fabric of the continuum, as if the rest of the Universe doesn't exist! Your inaction and ruthlessness now threaten the very existence of life on the surface of your planet. Either force your emperors and warlords to surrender their weapons of annihilation, or face galactic law. You will be placed on trial versus your children's right to a future, and the cetacean's right to their oceans. Halt your submarine warfare immediately, cease your blasting of "x-ray" lasers into space, and surrender all atomic technologies to your so-called "scientists" for neutralizing. Stop believing in warlords. They are a lying pack of criminals infested with demonic ideologies and murderous arrogance. Why do you allow them to kill your children and then pay them more “taxes”? It is obvious to most of the humans on Earth that war is a crime, a cowardly and devious way to control large groups of others-- through lies, intimidation, and annihilation. To continue your loyalty to the ones in possession of weapons of annihilation, no matter how you may be coaxed into false security, is to accept your children's death warrant. The current warlords in control of your planet offer nothing-- other than poverty, enslavement, mutation, disease-- or a quick, merciful death. Is this what your many generations of ancestors schemed and struggled, sacrificed and prayed for? Your total enslavement in cities of concrete? The surrender of your soul to a killing machine? Surrender your weapons. Lay them down now. All Earth transmission stations are strongly urged to convey this message to the people of your planet. Galactic Omega Mission StarBase 488 Translator via Mauna Kea MotherShip http://CosmoCorps.org < less

(11:56) Years ago, the dying planet known as Krouton sent its last-born son to the Earth. His mission was simple: To save the planet and its denizens from certain destruction. The proble... more >

(11:56) Years ago, the dying planet known as Krouton sent its last-born son to the Earth. His mission was simple: To save the planet and its denizens from certain destruction. The problem: What with all the preparing for their own annihilation and preparing their tax returns and whatnot, someone made an egregious mistake, and the craft carrying this superhero did not crashland at its target destination, but instead in the backyard of the nice-but-dysfunctional Jewish couple next door. They would raise this infant son as though he were their own, however. Captain Awesome soon rose to the occasion, making it his life's work to fight to protect the world from all manner of evil. From The Emperor to The Puzzler to The Duplicitous Duo, he has captured and imprisoned dozens of the most dangerous criminals society has ever seen. But the bane of his existence, his arch-nemesis The Kool-Aid Man, has tormented him for years and has always escaped his clutches. Today, he makes his stand. Captain Awesome is a UCSD student film written and directed by Brian Carver and Grimace Boyer. It stars Marvin Elauria, Cristyn Chandler, Michael McIntosh, Ivan Harrison, and Nancy Friedman. Shot on location and in 16mm color film by a crew so tough they would settle for bottom-shelf hummus and pita bread, slightly chilled with a Perrier. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO presents a LIQUID MEAT FILM "CAPTAIN AWESOME" MARVIN ELAURIA - CRISTYN CHANDLER - MICHAEL MCINTOSH IVAN HARRISON - NANCY FRIEDMAN - BRUCE WILLIS production design by JESUS HIMSELF cinematography by JENNIFER SPARKS edited by YOUR MOM written and directed by BRIAN CARVER AND GRIMACE BOYER ~10 min - 16MM - Color - 1:85 - Dolby Digital~ ~Just kidding about the Dolby Digital~ ~Animals were harmed in the making of this film~ ~No, seriously. A lot of animals. It was an accident, but it happened.~ ~Honestly, it wasn't really even an accident. They had it coming to them.~ < less

(1:39) A new series exposing some of History's Greatest Pervs...100% fact! This episode examines the life of Emperor Elagabalus. (Stay tuned for Ep4: Catherine the Great)

(1:39) A new series exposing some of History's Greatest Pervs...100% fact! This episode examines the life of Emperor Elagabalus. (Stay tuned for Ep4: Catherine the Great) < less

(3:24) Years ago, in a land far, far away, he ruled with an iron fist. He was beloved and hated by an equal number of millions. He rode Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey into battle, fo... more >

(3:24) Years ago, in a land far, far away, he ruled with an iron fist. He was beloved and hated by an equal number of millions. He rode Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey into battle, for he was AARON THE GREAT! (more) < less

(4:01) The Emperor visits the Death Star in hopes of it's completion, however, Darth Vader stages a surprise for him - a musical number with dancing Stormtroopers. A parody of The Beatles' ... more >

(4:01) The Emperor visits the Death Star in hopes of it's completion, however, Darth Vader stages a surprise for him - a musical number with dancing Stormtroopers. A parody of The Beatles' Yellow Submarine, done Star Wars style. < less

(5:14) Featuring impressions of: Don Pardo, Truman Capote, Emperor Palpatine, Christopher Lloyd, Pat Buttram, Peter Falk, Deepak Chopra, Bill Clinton, Ed Wynn, Ian McKellan, Vincent Price, ... more >

(5:14) Featuring impressions of: Don Pardo, Truman Capote, Emperor Palpatine, Christopher Lloyd, Pat Buttram, Peter Falk, Deepak Chopra, Bill Clinton, Ed Wynn, Ian McKellan, Vincent Price, Walter Mathau, John Malkovich, Stan Lee, Peter O'Toole, Gollum, Lewis Black, Austin Powers, Robert DeNiro, Jay Leno, Michael Caine, Dylan Moran, Christopher Lee, Jon Lovitz, Al Pacino, Jimmy Stewart, HAL 9000, and Marlon Brando < less

(3:55) Roman emperor born 243-died 316 AD.He came on power to abolish half century anarchy and unreasonable fightings for throne.Tirth century was unrest and many attacks on borders of empi... more >

(3:55) Roman emperor born 243-died 316 AD.He came on power to abolish half century anarchy and unreasonable fightings for throne.Tirth century was unrest and many attacks on borders of empire.He was selected as Emperor at Nicomedia present day Izmit(Turkey)284-305 AD.Only one Roman Emperor who did not lose any battle during his rein 21 years.During Roman Emperor Galijenus Was young officier in Tongres present day Belgium joined service in 16 years old.During Roman Emperor Aurelian he was one of the best his solidiers.During Roman Emperor Probus Diocletian was Military Commadant of Roman Province Moesia present day(Serbia).During Roman Emperor Carus,he was commadant cavalry body gourd.During his mandate he had been built four Palaces one in Turkey where he was on throne and ruled by Empire two Palaces in Syria one and last one in Croatia on Adriatic sea Split Croatia.Which most preserved. < less

(2:05) Minnie Indie #39 After getting his number 9 robe retired to the rafters of the Emperors Club, Spitzer joines forces with the Equalizer to help him get his vengeance on the FBI agents... more >

(2:05) Minnie Indie #39 After getting his number 9 robe retired to the rafters of the Emperors Club, Spitzer joines forces with the Equalizer to help him get his vengeance on the FBI agents that brought his political career down. Action packed adventure with explosions, guns, bazookas, incredible stunts, milfs hanging on to their milf status by a thread, and one awesome receding hairline wig. minnieindie.com < less

(6:00) Warlords of Earth: Lay Down Your Weapons Intergalactic Intelligence Briefing Galactic Ambassador Aglaria StarBase 488 Translator TimePortal 2453960.355208 Hail Ideological Leaders... more >

(6:00) Warlords of Earth: Lay Down Your Weapons Intergalactic Intelligence Briefing Galactic Ambassador Aglaria StarBase 488 Translator TimePortal 2453960.355208 Hail Ideological Leaders of Earth! May you convey this transmission to the emperors and warlords who now threaten your planet's very existence. We have watched as you allowed brutal and murderous criminals to take power over your governments and technologies, as they have sold you tools of death in monstrous forms-- plagues and atomic annihilation, amplified energy and laser cannons... burning holes in the very fabric of the continuum, as if the rest of the Universe doesn't exist! Fortunately for you, this imbecilic and diseased behavior will soon come to a halt, in order to ensure the survival of the cetacean races on your planet, whose oceans you have tainted and whose flesh you insist on butchering for consumption. If you desire any survivors, you will heed this warning from those who possess far greater powers than your own. In one generation you have gone from blowing metal projectiles through one another to burning entire sectors of your planet, blasting monstrous holes, chewing and crushing eons of genetic heritage in a few short years, laying waste to all life left around you. And still you allow brutal criminals to control your life through their money systems and militaries, their prisons and drugs, their terror tactics and fear programs. It is obvious to most of the humans on Earth that war is a crime, a cowardly and devious way to control large groups of others-- through lies, intimidation, and annihilation. To continue your loyalty to the ones in possession of weapons of annihilation, no matter how you may be coaxed into false security, is to accept your children's death warrant. The current warlords in control of your planet offer nothing-- other than poverty, enslavement, mutation, disease-- or a quick, merciful death. Is this what your many generations of ancestors schemed and struggled, sacrificed and prayed for? Your total enslavement in cities of concrete? The surrender of your soul to a killing machine? Surrender your weapons. Lay them down now. All Earth transmission stations are strongly urged to convey this message to the people of your planet. Galactic Omega Mission StarBase 488 Translator via Mauna Kea MotherShip http://CosmoCorps.org < less