Do yourselves a favor... never... EVER... delete a playlist.... especially by accident....
It takes any videos you have in it with it....
I had like 70 videos favorited... now I have NONE!!!
I hate this POS work computer!!! I hate this POS mouse!!! I clicke RENAME!!! NOT DELETE!!!!!
WHY ODIN!!! WHY HATH THOU FORSKEN ME!!!???!!!!
This sucks!!! Now I gotta try and rebuild from scratch??? Damnit!!!
Rant rant grumble rant rant!!!
- Kenny G.
Addendum ---- Please forgive the massive newsfeed blitz you will be getting from me, as I try to rebuild my favorites list.... Sorry :-(
So, I got to spend the bigger part of my New Year's Eve playing "door man" at Bucks, collecting tickets/cover for the big party.
It was a pretty good deal: $10 a ticket ahead of time, which got you in, as we had a live band all night, food at midnight (and not chips/dip and cheap crap... good stuff like homemade mac and cheese, meatballs, kielbasa and purple cabage (good stuuf!!), stuffed manicotti.....).... awesome drink specials all night ($1 shots... full size good shots, cheap "knock you on your arse" long islands...)... as well as party favors out the wazoo....
Mind you, the door, it was $15.... penalty for not buying earlier ;-)
Nobody really gave me any grief about the cover.... except for one drunken ass we were actually trying to get rid of.... but hey, you expect it when you play door-monkey....
It was kind of lonely though, as I was around the corner... near the door... and everyone else was out on the dance floor, and getting drunk as hell. Most of my interaction with friends that were in the bar was by text, or a quick chat as they passed by to find the restroom....
But none the less, It was an interesting night.... I got a tip, in the form of a free beer!
..... From a guy.....
I'm pretty sure he wasn't hitting on me.... as I've seen him at the bar with a girlfriend many a time..... I think it was more out of pitty... as I explained to him that I was doing this out of the kindness of my little beer-filled heart, and not for pay or free drinks....
Maybe I need to stop over analyzing this incident... :-)
Needless to say, I got to un-man my post a little after Midnight... after the ball dropped... which i got to watch leaning over the half wall that separates the door from the bar area....
Hurray....
I did get to wear a little goofy ass plastic hat, and make noise with a 39 cent horn... I'll try to post pictures if Steve remembered to take any of me....
A nice kiss at midnight would have been nicer.... but hey, I really shouldn't complain.... it was still better than the New Years I spent at home... alone.... with a 12 pack and a pint.... :-)
In summary.... I was walking pretty straight when we left that night.... Not what I would normally have done on the second holiest day in my religion.... (The first being St. Patrick's Day.... the third being the Daytona 500....).....
Ok... time for you to share what you did on your night of New Yearage!!! Comment away!!! :-)
- Kenny G.
Ladies and Gentlemen.... Welcome to America's Best New Gameshow.....
Give me a Cookie, or Kick me in the Junk!!!
I'm Chet Whetwilly.... Let's meet our contestant!!
He's an office manager from the Detroit area, who drinks a ton of beer, and uses up precious bandwidth on Funnyordie.com.... Kenny G.
Hi Ken.
Hi Chet.
Ready to play?
Yes I am.
The rules are simple: I ask a question, you answer. If you get it right, you get a cookie... But if you get it wrong...
"Kick in the Junk!!!"
That's right Audience.... here we go!!!
Question One: How do you spell "Cat"?
... C....A....T.....
Ooooh... incorrect... Kick in the Junk!!!
*Thump*.... Yelp.....
No... the correct spelling is: S..U..B..M..A..R..I..N..E...
But... that spells submarine....
No Ken... it's "Cat"... Question 2: In the 2008 Presidential election.... Who won the Presidency of the United States of America?
..... Barrack Obama....???
Nope! Kick in the Junk!!
*THUMP*
Ow dear God that hurts.... What's wrong with you people??
I'm sorry Ken.... The correct answer is "Yoda"..... "Yoda".....
But... I saw it... It's Obama!!!
Nope... Card says Yoda... you get a.... Kick in the Junk!!!
*THUMP*...
Sweet Merciful Odin... Stop kicking me.... I hope to have children some day....
Oh, Come now Ken... after seeing that picture of Dave's ass on his caption blog... you're more sterile than a Hospital Birth Ward....
Question 3: What is the sum of 1 and 1, otherwise written as 1+1=__?
...... I don't want to play anymore.....
Sorry Kenny... You have to answer all the questions.....
.... How many questions are there??
There are 223 questions.
223!?!?!
Oooh.. I'm sorry.... 1+1 does not equal 223... it's 2... Kick in the Junk!!!
But that wasn't my answ..*THUMP!!!*.......... *sob*... i want my mommy.....
[ 219 incorrect answers.... and 219 malicious genital strikes... later]
Well Kenny... One Question left... no cookies..... How ya feeling??
............. *cough*.... *sob*..... *wimper*.....
Ok, that's great..... Final Question: Finish this popular Gameshow name---- "Give me a Cookie, or _____________??
......... please..... no....... *sob*....
I need an answer Kenny.....
......... "Kick me in the Junk"....??
You heard him boys..... *THUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*......... *crumple*..... *twitch*.... *twitch*......
Well.... There you have it folks.... 4219 episodes... not one cookie awarded....
Join us next week on: "Give me a Cookie, or........"
"Kick me in the Junk!!!!"
Goodnight everybody.....
................ Typed on a Dell.... Inspired, by beer. :-)
- Kenny G.
- "Um, Sorry Ken.... We lost your keys.... gotta find them, then I'll deliver your truck to you...." - Auto Shop Manager
HOW THE BLOODY HELL do you lose a customer's keys??? On Christmas Eve??? After having the truck over a week, and fornicating him with a metal spatula on the cost??? How??? Why Me, God... Why Me?!?!?!?".... For your Oscar Consdierations... Kenny G. :-)
2. "My computer is broke!!! I have nothing on my Monitor!!!!!".....
"And the monitor is on.... correct...??"
"Well... um... huh??... Lemme look.... Tee Hee... I feel so silly..... Thank You." - Random Customer
Seriously?? Come on!!! I mean, I know we aren't all as savy on computer repair as those of us in the industry.... but some stuff is just crazy stupid.... If you can't even comprehend the concept of "Needs Electricity/Power Switched On" for your computer to work.... Use a freaking Etch-A-Sketch... for the love of Odin!!!
3. "Sorry I'm late... Roads are bad".... -Johnny the Tech
" But, You live 1/2 Mile from the office... I live 10 Miles... with a worse Vehicle... I still got here on time..."
" And...?"
Seriously.... I know I am no role model around this office.... and I make less than you.... But... Get to work on time, you little PUNK!!! (God, I am glad to be able to say this "here"... on FOD.... since I can say this "Here".... at work.... :-)
And.... Most Word-Failingly of all....
4. "you're so wonderful, Ken - ty" - Her
Yes.... the same Her from other posts.... The one that makes every day better than the day before... even if she doesn't know it sometimes. :-)
No backstory for this one... It's just... it's amazing... when all you want to do is make someone else feel truly special... how they can make you feel so special in return.....
And That, my friends, is That.... for now. :-)
- Kenny G.
It's that time of year..... to celebrate the holidays, to reflect on all that the year has brought... and most of all... to remember the peace, love, and joy that the holiday's truly mean....
It is the time for presents, for sharing happiness with those you hold most dear....
But, it is also a time to guard you heart the most you ever do, so as not to let yourself become lost in the hard times that seem most harsh this time of year...
It's easy to think about all you may not have in your life this time of year.... It's harder to truly remember all the blessings you do have....
For those who lament for the family you won'y get to see this year.... remember those who never have had the wonder of having family around them... and rejoice for the love you have in your life....
For those who struggle, often falling a dollar short of where you want to be.... remember those who have so little, often not even enough food, or a warm home... and rejoice for that which you may have taken for granted...
For those who hurt, for what and who has been lost to you.... remember those who have never known a peaceful holiday season... and rejoice for each day you have, warm and safe, in this world...
Let this be the most wonderful Christmas you've ever known, not for the presents and parties, but for all the joy and love you know every day, and be greatful to be one of the blessed...
My deepest and most true thanks and love to you, my FOD friends and family, and I wish you nothing but the most blessed and happy of days.... not just for Christmas, but for every day that is yet to come.
May Life, Love, and Laughs, find you this holiday, and for this moment on....
- Kenny G.
With the hodgepodge of random Lemming dookie that has been occurring around me, doing it's best to try and overshadow the one extremely good part of my life as of late... I've been in less than a stellar mood most of the time... as my usual bloggage has annoyingly repeated to you all...
So, in an effort to curb my fluster-pated mood.... whilst not constantly complaining to those of you kind enough to follow my blog.... I've decided to shoot another video... soon...
Not like my last abomination... I'm talking script.... lighting.... story..... the works....
But, I'm not sure which idea to run with... So I need a vote!
By these simple lines of text... decide which video should be the next attempt at greatness from Kenny G:
A. "The Applesauce Moment: A Documentary"
B. "Kenny G.'s Impressions: A Young Football Hopeful, Drafted by the Detroit Lions."
C. Another Karaoke Piece (Song and Storyline TBD)
If you have a moment, please cast a vote... you can decide which of these is the next sketch unleashed into the Magical Land of FOD :-)
- Kenny G.
