Ok... weird for Kenny G. ....
Ok... fine... I'm weird... just read owsla first... then me....
....
.........
.......................
Aren't you done yet?!?!?
Ok... Now... my version... that was gonna be a comment... but was too damn long...
So, I was 12... Yes... 12... and on my skippy little way to Australia...
Don't ask how......... FINE!.... You wanna know... I useta be smrt... and smrt too.... maybe even smart.......
Needless to say... there I was... on my way from Detroit Metro... to L.A. ... to connect to Sydney.... 4 hours.... first plane ride EVER..... Hurr-Gord-Dorm-AAAAAAAAA!!!YYYYY!!!!!
... And those asshole served chili....
............. With cheese... which is not my thing....
......................... But as a hungry 12 year old......
I ate it.... Held it in throughout the flight... and the 13 hour flight from L.A. to Sydney... with the 1 hour layover....
Until we hit the hotel... 4 hours after landing....
Then porcelin suffered... sorry porcelin lovers... but I have to be honest...
Hell yeah + OUCH in one fluid High Five... I know...
That wasn't my pain...
My pain came... coupled with shame... 3 weeks later... on the return flight....
Needless to say, I did "drop one" on the tour bus while we were there (leave me alone.... I Was 12!!!!) ... and caught hell for it the rest of the trip... but that is not the worst part....
The customs "rep" had just grilled us/scared the shit out of us... right after I bought a bag of candy and a 60 oz bottle of water with the last of my money.... and opened both.....
Hence... neither made it to the customs check point....
Let's just let your biology homework kick in..... ok.... got it??... good.
1.25 hours into the 13 hour flight back to L.A. ... with a 4 hour flight to Detroit to follow.... I had to "piddle"....
... And found a line....
......... A slow moving line......
...................... A REALLY SLOW moving line......
..................................... And I was wearing Chaki (spelling??) pants......
Needless to say... I wore a blanket around my waist for 11.75 hours......
............ Only to find out.... 1/2 hour before we landed in L.A. ..... that the one restroom... that said "occupied".... was open... but with the sign not changed back..............
I hate flying.... unlesss it's 1- 1 1/2 hours..... With no food.....
Thanks owsla, for remiding me of this nightmare... :-)
- Kenny G.
Wow... Only 10 months as a FOD member, and I'm already at 2500 "That's What He Said" 's... I must really love to hear myself type. But, as always with me, a milestone is a party... so here we go!
Kenny G.'s Top 25 things He Loves about FOD:
1. That any list of weird crap I make doesn't have to be in any particular order to be mediocre.
2. The "Christmas Morning" feeling I get when I open my Newsfeed each morning.
3. All the great contests my FOD friends put on (IE: WSS or Phukuhp's Cap contests, Jason2K1's Haikus, or Clay's Daily's)
4. Wagering with Drizz and Butch (Still waiting here Mr. Jackson :-) )
5. On-Demand home grown videos from people that are way funnier than they give themselves credit for (If you read this blog, and have even one video, I'm taking about you.)
6. The Strange Threads on the Forums.
7. The Fact that those Forum Threads are as addicting as Crack.
8. The Fact that "Club Foot" was my 2500th "Thing He Said", and that doesn't bother me.
9. Gotta say it... "Ha Ha, Bird in a Dryer"
10. Knowing that, no matter who reads this drivel, My insane thoughts will be here of FOD forever (Or until the server blows up, which ever comes first.)
11. Not having to spell check every word I type.
12. Not getting laughed at that I do still spell check most of it.
13. Knowing that admitting I use spell check on FOD will now probably get me laughed at.
14. The excessive proliferation of the word "Merkin" on this site.
15. The Fact that most of the $200.69 my Beard-A-Thon efforts have raised has come from FOD people, not my own family.
16. Being able to personally thank the 4 FOD members who have donated the most, even though they seem to want to stay anonymous.
17. Knowing that if I put my Beard-A-Thon link on this list, most of you already saw it coming :-) https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx
18. Seeing my friends from FOD come check out my Blogger Blog, and give me feed back ( http://www.sabre419shovel.blogspot.com/)
19. Not have been caught for occasionally making the same post on both sites, at the same time, even though I could easily have done something different.
20. Black Dogs, Orange Squeking Cats, and Brown Anoles all living in harmony.
21. Three Words: Blogs About Bacon.
22. The Fact that I could easily skip #22, and nobody would really care.
23. Standing invites to visit States I've never been to, by people who've never met me in person.
24. Making the type of friends that I can actually call, on the phone, when I need a shoulder/ear/swift kick in the ass.
25. The fact that I can think of 25 resons I love it here, and still have more in mind.
Wow... That list kind of started to take on a life of it's own... Just like this bowl:
Well, I think that's enough sappy/goofy reminiscing for now. Time to leave this party before something bad happens...
SON OF A..... Nevermind...
- Kenny G.
(I know... lame puns are not comedy... but I'm running on empty here.. so bite me ;-) )
Anyways, new round, new blog, new pic:
(Yeah yeah, I look like crap... It was a long weekend... so bite me twice... ;-) )
As always, my latest Beard-A-Thon standings are here :
https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx
Remember friends, it's all for charity, any help you can give/gather will be greatly appreciated.
So, with that, I say, for the rest of this round at least:
"I'm here with
My Beard and
My Beard will
Grow on and on"
... Seriously... I want to at least hit triple digits here... $78 is pretty sad to offer up as a donation... so help me get my donations...please.... or I'll do more Celine Dion parodies... I swear it...
(Not really... but I thought it was a funny faux-threat... so bite me thrice... ;-) )
- Kenny G.
ROCK ON WINGS!! 2-0 RULES!!!
Not that I don't think the Wings will win tonight versus the Ducks, it's jsut... this is the first time in a while the Wings have faced elimination... and I don't like it...
This could end up being my last day in the Beard-A-Thon:
( https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx )
It would bother me for it to end now... I haven't raised enough to feel worth while, I need more time... This game matters...
So, It's time to be stoic:
Be devoted:
And get ready for some Duck Hunt fun! :-)
GO WINGS!!!
- Kenny G.
On occassion, I get asked this same question, and, despite my consistant and well reasoned response, I get the same blank stare of disbelief from the questioner:
The Q: So, are you on Myspace/Facebook/Twitter/ etc..... ?
My A: No.
....!?!?!
"But, who, what, huh? How can you not be on Myspace/Facebook/Twitter/ etc... ?"
Simple: I don't want to be.
"But.... how do you meet new people and network and blah blah blahitty blah blah...???
Um... I leave my house. ;-)
Now, mind you, I'm not here, truthfully, to knock these services... of those who use them...
But seriously... when did "Tweeting" that you just sctratched yourself in public become the norm for "Social Networking"?
I'm a member of a little group called BNI (Google it if you must)... It's a work thing, and it requires me to get up boo-ass early every Friday, drive out, and actually meet... in person.... with a bunch of other buisness folks, and actually talk to one another...
That... my friends... is NETWORKING...
As opposed to:
(Click on it, and zoom in... FOD shrank it....)
Besides... at least by meeting folks in person... you know how creepy I... I mean... "they" are... as opposed to:
(Again, click and zoom... hee hee... "possibly a ninja"...)
And don't even get me going on how big a waste of time I view Twitter as.... I mean, for the love of God... my life is not so interesting that anyone needs constant updates... what am I gonna "tweet"? "Ordering another beer"..... "Drinking that beer".... "Must go deposit that beer"....
Think I'm crazy... watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w
You see.... I'm not nuts.... I'm the one not bound by some vague attempt at having an online social life that really just becomes an untameable addiction...
Now, if you'll excuse me... it's been 10 minutes since I checked my Newsfeed...
Wait a sec....
CRAP!!!
;-)
- Kenny G.
First, a tad of intellectualism :-)
eleemosynary \el-uh-MOS-uh-ner-ee\, adjective:
<!-- wotd="eleemosynary" -->1. Of or for charity; charitable; as, "an eleemosynary institution."
2. Given in charity; having the nature of alms; as, "eleemosynary assistance."
3. Supported by or dependent on charity; as, "the eleemosynary poor."
(I love dictionary.com :-) )
Second, do remember I am not just doing this as a fan, but for a charitable cause:
https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/sabre419/profile.aspx
Info about the charity can be found here:
https://www.beardathon.com/redwings/the-cause.aspx
And finally, here is the beard, at the start of Round 2. :-)
Yup, I'm a dork. :-)
- Kenny G.
P.S. Hey Butch... Karaoke? :-)
Game 1: Go Wings!
Game 2: Fuck The Ducks!
Do I look sad enough...??
Oh well, on to Anaheim tomorrow...
Ok... fine... 2-2 heading back here to Hockeytown.... I'm keeping the faith....
BTW: is it a beard yet?
Thought not... Saturday's gonna be a hoot. ;-)
The Wings... need Game 7?!?!? WTF!!!!
