I love you
Don't have an account? Join now
I would like to receive the Funny or Die newsletter.
Glimpse O heaven '97There once was a class called English comp one Most... more »
Glimpse O heaven '97There once was a class called English comp one Most beautiful teacher under the sun Her athletic body never was flaunted The warmth of her smile every man wanted Her vibrant blue eyes and her jet black hair It was all you could do just not to stare White floral dress hanky in hand Prim proper lady there she did stand And all of the boys died to want a kiss of her hand Her students oh they all fell in love With an angel they thought from above a fine English lady with grace and with poise She never hung out with any crude boys When she walked in the halls we'd go any which way Just for to chance hear her say hey Handsignal to friend which way she would pass All the boys sighed for our magnificent lass And at the doors trouble would brew Just for the honor of her smile thank you Then hark missive from friend with her ear Audience granted four o'clock do appear
Glimpse O heaven '97Oh how my heart surly did race Chance at her side could... more »
Glimpse O heaven '97Oh how my heart surly did race Chance at her side could it be my place Alas Alas my advance was rejected So I went home completely dejected for in youthful vigor I had done swooned Meant as a compliment meant not to wound Pray forgive my message inflected; I came on to strong Persona non grata message reflected; don't get me wrong At the fall ball there was simply no chance To none of us boy's did she grant any dance So thus it died my silly dream of romance Alas too soon it was all over As all of our hopes died like the clover By accident she did break many a heart as destiny's paths they surly did part She happily fled our flyover state Hoping in search of a much better fate And now I really wonder where our fine lady's gone I guess in the end we were all reading her wrong It seems everything about her was just one big lie Does this woman take pleasure making hope die Now before you take umbrage with what I am saying Understand this for your soul I am praying
Ode contExploiters of women? Look in the mirror! Wipe the steam off so you... more »
Ode contExploiters of women? Look in the mirror! Wipe the steam off so you can see yourself clearer And ask yourself why men would want to be near her Respect admiration possibly love - oh no It's probably because she acts like a ho All women have their needs and desires Spry little flames that turn into fires But beware most men oh they are liars Not that you women are singing in choirs So Follywood Follywood clean up this space Teach our young ladies of honor and grace Make a man earn a place by your side And as for your bedroom - A long wait to inside Discipline and honor you must demand Just for the honor of holding your hand Make him obey your every command so that by your side he may someday stand Let your desires and passions all be reserved Only for whom it is justly deserved The man who with honor has loyally served But ladies be warned before we begin you yourselves must first have honor and discipline Never show a man more than he has earned the right to see For your body's a treasure and devotions the fee Think of it then what a world this would be If women held honor before granting a key Because if you allow a man to behave like a hound That's how they'll all act when your daughters around Alas Alas I know my rant is in vain Because Follywood Follywood is clearly insane
Ode to Kate BeckinsaleOf all the things this beautiful woman could have... more »
Ode to Kate BeckinsaleOf all the things this beautiful woman could have done For the benefit of all the women under the sun Maybe a role model for women generations to come But tact and refinement oh those are not fun Eloquence and grace she show she has none A dignified lady we now know she's not one A vile rant which is filled with profanity Some of it seems quite like insanity Perhaps she's consumed by her own vanity She's even worse than that man called Hannity So now follywood tells me what my beliefs they should be Channeling it 24/7 through my T.V. Scantily clad women for the world to see And my oh my they collect quite a fee Making a killing exploiting thee They rake in the cash By spewing out trash Bitches and hoes they spew it in rap And show men how to treat our women like crap Why young lady you just turned eighteen A perfect time for a steamy sex scene Sit down and have an honest debate No obnoxious video spewing with hate so show those young ladies how a fine English lass Makes all that cash by pretending to have sex and shakin that ass
This video is vulgar, offensive, and insulting to hundreds of millions of... more »
This video is vulgar, offensive, and insulting to hundreds of millions of people simply because they believe that abortion is murder and that the government should not mandate contraceptive devices if they violate the religious beliefs of a group providing medical coverage. It shows the utter hypocracy of certin people who demand that others show respect for their beliefs, then use vile and reprehensible conduct to attack those who disagree with them. Instead of entering into a intellegent conversation on the role of the government in the Jeffersonian concept of ordered liberty, as a person with the level of education that she has could do, she has chosen to take a sensitive issue and use the most repugnant and reprehensible language immaginable and use it to attack political opponents. Perhaps she should look at the way Follywood objectifies and exploits women by making billions of dollars of corporate profit by having them strip and have mock sex on film for the entertainment of strangers. Perhaps she should stick to doing what she does best, taking her clothes off for money.
A weekly roundup of everything great from the site to your inbox. It's funny, we promise.
Forgot your password?
Your email address:
Choose a username:
Choose a password:
Repeat your password:
I would like to receive the Funny or Die newsletter.