It's not often that I get to write a self-indulgent and pathetic description of myself, unless you count myspace, facebook, eharmony, match.com, youtube, photobucket, gaysocalsingles.net (I lost a bet and had to do that one), jobing.com, monster.com, yahoojobs.com, WOW, Rockband.com, and KillJarJarBinks.com. I'll do my best to sum up 33 years of my existence in a way that appeals both to perverted middle-aged men and 13-year-old girls since I'm led to believe they're the only two groups of people online. I grew up in San Jose, California, and now live in Rialto, California. I'm married with a 9-year-old daughter. I have a degree in Theatre (note the "re" spelling, which is just about all I remember from my schooling) from the University of California, Riverside. I am currently looking for work, but hey, isn't everyone? If anyone out there is looking for someone to write dialogue, or if you need a chauffeur, or if you want someone to clean your toilets, or if you just need someone to bring you a sandwich please for the love of all that is holy give me a chance! I'm desperate here. Maybe if I had gotten a degree in Chemical Engineering I would have a job now, but I'd probably be spelling theatre "t-h-e-a-t-e-r." Seriously, though, I have a sense of humor largely influenced by Monty Python, late-80's Saturday Night Live, and my sarcastic aunt. I'm not a big fan of toilet humor, but I will admit occasionally laughing at a witty fart. I love "dirty" humor, a la George Carlin or Lenny Bruce; I can't stand stupid humor.