WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.026 --> 00:00:03.338 (Peppy trumpet music) 2 00:00:03.338 --> 00:00:05.471 - Hey Cheeseheads! Over here! 3 00:00:05.471 --> 00:00:07.116 I'm Petrussi Van Wilhelm. 4 00:00:07.116 --> 00:00:10.176 - And I'm Buck Zoop, keepin' locked at cheese o'clock. 5 00:00:10.176 --> 00:00:13.801 - Welcome to Chee-MZ, your one and only source 6 00:00:13.801 --> 00:00:15.864 for the breaking cheese news. 7 00:00:15.864 --> 00:00:17.305 Want a different take on cheese? 8 00:00:17.305 --> 00:00:19.571 Too bad! We're all you have. 9 00:00:19.571 --> 00:00:21.408 - That's right Petrussi, we're back 10 00:00:21.408 --> 00:00:24.261 line:15% with more hard-hitting coverage of the waiting game. 11 00:00:24.261 --> 00:00:27.210 line:15% If you're tuning in we are watching a wheel of cheese mature 12 00:00:27.210 --> 00:00:31.377 until it's ready to become an ingredient Cheez-It Crackers! 13 00:00:31.509 --> 00:00:34.176 (Clock ticking) 14 00:00:36.008 --> 00:00:38.435 Every day, Cheez-It sends experts in 15 00:00:38.435 --> 00:00:41.006 to teach this cheese lessons in maturity, 16 00:00:41.006 --> 00:00:44.693 like the cheese's first maturation exercise: patience. 17 00:00:44.693 --> 00:00:48.657 Let's take a look at expert Connie's methodology. 18 00:00:48.657 --> 00:00:50.058 - Wooh! 19 00:00:50.058 --> 00:00:51.672 Wooh! 20 00:00:51.672 --> 00:00:53.219 Wooh! 21 00:00:53.219 --> 00:00:54.719 It's a Zen Garden. 22 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:58.995 You could pretend you're a little person, 23 00:00:58.995 --> 00:01:00.712 just raking in the snow. 24 00:01:00.712 --> 00:01:03.362 - I wish an expert would teach me about patience! 25 00:01:03.362 --> 00:01:05.087 Because I can't wait 26 00:01:05.087 --> 00:01:07.466 to see what else the cheese learned this week. 27 00:01:07.466 --> 00:01:09.649 - Well Buck, you'll just have to hold your horses. 28 00:01:09.649 --> 00:01:10.746 - I don't wanna! 29 00:01:10.746 --> 00:01:13.428 - Because the next day expert Tony gave the cheese 30 00:01:13.428 --> 00:01:16.837 a lesson on the maturing properties of wisdom. 31 00:01:16.837 --> 00:01:20.039 - I'm going to use the most popular tool in modern society 32 00:01:20.039 --> 00:01:21.539 to learn wisdom... 33 00:01:22.627 --> 00:01:24.695 Fortune cookies! 34 00:01:24.695 --> 00:01:26.797 Sometimes, the best pearls 35 00:01:26.797 --> 00:01:30.352 are those found in the dirtiest clams. 36 00:01:30.352 --> 00:01:32.607 - Talk about a quote changing your life! 37 00:01:32.607 --> 00:01:35.106 I have to rethink everything! 38 00:01:35.106 --> 00:01:36.357 - You sure do, Buck. 39 00:01:36.357 --> 00:01:38.044 Including your float wear. 40 00:01:38.044 --> 00:01:41.018 - Let's not forget our interloping janitor, 41 00:01:41.018 --> 00:01:43.407 who's given the cheese some real world lessons 42 00:01:43.407 --> 00:01:45.407 that you find in those fancy science books. 43 00:01:45.407 --> 00:01:47.976 - On Friday the 13th, the janitor gave the cheese 44 00:01:47.976 --> 00:01:51.263 some mature insight into what's really scary. 45 00:01:51.263 --> 00:01:55.430 Not a rogue hair, Mundane Adult Responsibilities. 46 00:01:56.086 --> 00:02:00.078 - Now let me tell you about some stuff that's really scary. 47 00:02:00.078 --> 00:02:02.748 Stuff that scares the dickens out of me. 48 00:02:02.748 --> 00:02:03.709 Taxes! 49 00:02:03.709 --> 00:02:07.055 The insane price of attendin' a friend's bachelor party! 50 00:02:07.055 --> 00:02:09.003 Planning for retirement! 51 00:02:09.003 --> 00:02:10.739 (Both screaming) 52 00:02:10.739 --> 00:02:11.822 - That was terrifying! 53 00:02:11.822 --> 00:02:13.575 Look, I dialed 9 and 1 on my phone 54 00:02:13.575 --> 00:02:15.539 without even trying to do it! 55 00:02:15.539 --> 00:02:17.510 - Oh! That's a cool reflex! 56 00:02:17.510 --> 00:02:19.521 I love that about you. 57 00:02:19.521 --> 00:02:20.800 - Thank you! Beep beep! 58 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:23.544 - The cheese also mastered a lesson in art with the help 59 00:02:23.544 --> 00:02:26.377 of a professional cheese sculptor. 60 00:02:27.259 --> 00:02:29.078 - Alright, so we're going to sculpt me 61 00:02:29.078 --> 00:02:31.627 and my old buddy the Cheese here. 62 00:02:31.627 --> 00:02:33.964 ♫ I'm trying to be polite, I don't wanna be rude-a, 63 00:02:33.964 --> 00:02:35.965 ♫ I just want to eat a little more Gouda, 64 00:02:35.965 --> 00:02:38.098 ♫ Have a little cheese, you would feel better, 65 00:02:38.098 --> 00:02:42.117 ♫ I would love, some of your cheddar 66 00:02:42.117 --> 00:02:44.685 Ah, there we are. - Oh, god. 67 00:02:44.685 --> 00:02:47.281 - Cheese and me, the maturation expert, 68 00:02:47.281 --> 00:02:49.870 staring in existential horror. 69 00:02:49.870 --> 00:02:51.752 - I really do feel like I'm at a museum 70 00:02:51.752 --> 00:02:54.351 because I do no understand why that is art. 71 00:02:54.351 --> 00:02:56.374 Well, that's it for today's Chee-MZ. 72 00:02:56.374 --> 00:02:59.788 line:15% Tune in next week as we update you on the real-time journey 73 00:02:59.788 --> 00:03:02.693 line:15% of this Cheese as it matures to become an ingredient 74 00:03:02.693 --> 00:03:04.593 line:15% in Cheez-It Crackers. 75 00:03:04.593 --> 00:03:07.264 line:15% Until then, we have just one thing to say. 76 00:03:07.264 --> 00:03:08.733 line:15% - Keep it breezy! 77 00:03:08.733 --> 00:03:12.044 line:15% And keep it cheesy! - And keep it cheesy! 78 00:03:12.044 --> 00:03:14.877 line:15% (Music fades out)