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<v Ashley Judd> Oh. Um, Mister Santorum, take a seat.

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<v Katy Mixon> I understand you'd like to terminate your candidacy. And I am sure, pumpkin, that is a very hard decision for you.

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<v Eliza Coupe> Sorry.

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<v Katy Mixon> If you weren't mature enough to carry your candidacy to term, you shouldn't have engaged in the risky behavior that began it.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> But, you made a mistake. Because you were thrust into a situation that you weren't ready for.

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<v Eliza Coupe> And the next thing you knew, a good looking rich man took advantage of you.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> Not your fault.

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<v Katy Mixon> People might say you were askin' for it. I'm not saying that, but people are.

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<v Eliza Coupe> I suppose adoption is out of the question. No one in their right mind would want you as a running mate.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> [Sighs]

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<v Ashley Judd> The financial burden, the risk of your political career, there is a lot at stake.

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<v Eliza Coupe> [Growls] God! I'm just so glad you could step out of the race with your reputation and life intact.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> What did you say? Make the best out of a bad situation.

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<v Katy Mixon> I'm not judging you, though.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> That's not me.

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<v Ashley Judd> I mean, you're a grown man running for President, and I'm just a woman who's never worked in politics and couldn't possibly understand what you're going through. I mean, what am I doing even talking to you about this? But...[Sigh] here we are.

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<v Eliza Coupe> The law requires me to tell you that as early as six weeks, a candidacy can have living, breathing supporters.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> And before doing anything, I'll need your parental consent form.

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<v Eliza Coupe> And you're gonna have to listen to your campaign manager's heart.

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[Beep] [Coughs]

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> And, of course, you'll have to look at the sonogram of your campaign.

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<v Rick Santorum> I'm ready to lead. I'm ready... [Echoes]

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<v Eliza Coupe> [Shushes]

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<v Ashley Judd> You'll also have to watch this. [Click]

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<v Rick Santorum> You can't win. Can't win.

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<v TV Personalities> It hurts. I am not a politician. Because people gotta know. I am suspending my, suspending, suspending, my pay and endorsing. A crook. Well after. Spending. My presidential campaign. [Slow Motion] Suspend our campaign today. [Click]

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<v Ashley Judd> Okay. We'll finalize this after the mandatory seventy-two hour waiting period.

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<v Eliza Coupe> And be careful on your way out. There's some really angry people out there.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> Please. Take one of these.

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<v Ashley Judd> Prayerfully consider what it has to say.

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<v Michelle Trachtenberg> I don't want to have this conversation in another forty-eight months.

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<v Katy Mixon> Just go ahead and stay home.

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