WEBVTT

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(light sound)

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Male: Thank you and till next time.

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Keep laughing.

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(crowd cheering)

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(upbeat music)

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Female: (romantic music) Are you lonely?

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Are you looking to make a connection?

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Do you want to listen in on the naughtiest

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in-going and out-going conversations?

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Then, join the NSA.

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Getting a job with the NSA is the quickest

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way to peep in on private phone calls,

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emails, texts, and fun Skype sessions

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from all around the country.

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Why settle for just one phone sex hotline,

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when becoming a contractor for the NSA

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gives you unlimited access to any private

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contact made over AT&T and Verizon.

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Hello Verizon, can I listen in on

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Charlie Roses' phone calls please? Thanks.

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With our exclusive engine, Prism Tube,

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you'll have access to every hot private

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photo and videos sent over Yahoo, Hotmail,

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Google, Facebook, Apple, AOL, YouTube,

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Dropbox, and Paltalk.

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Whatever the (bleep) that is,

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because NSA stands for
no strings attached.

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(upbeat music)

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So, what are you waiting for?

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Even, President Obama likes to listen in.

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(phone ringing)

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Male: Oh! I just want to say thank you

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for your service to our country,

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and, uh, I have a huge boner right now.

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Female: He's such a flirt.

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So, join the NSA to fulfill your

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every voyeuristic fantasy.

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It's just like that movie Sliver,

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except the entire
country is being watched.

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Guy with glasses: Hey! I'm sorry.

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Is this bugging anybody's
conscious except mine?

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I can't live in a country where this type

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of surveillance happens.

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The people have to ...

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(zapping sound)

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Female: Badger is in the cave.

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So, what are you waiting for?

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Dial 1 800 and any phone number and

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apply to the NSA today.

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Come on, I'm lonely.

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(upbeat music)