I know how to open bottles... and pop them.

I am an actress and a writer from Boston and I love almonds and Russell Crowe

Social ON

Social OFF

97f1a3a470b10e6a791dc434805923fa_width_640x

Click to view full size

Credits Details

: Uploader
asiegel523

Added about 2 years ago

42 funny votes

22 die votes

Description: I am an actress and a writer from Boston and I love almonds and Russell Crowe

Categories: Parody

Keywords: booze auto tune bro

Patience is overrated...

Featured Pictures And Words

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office

1 of 25
3,855 views

Loading...

Podcasts

Toilet Wine
Owen & TJ Read the News
1 of 8

Loading...

Parody

Extremely Funny Porn Movie Parodies

1 of 10
667,800 views

Loading...

Quicklist

Sponsored Videos

Special Unit's Unit w/ Adam DeVine
46,882 views
Richard the Cat: The BBQ
23,113 views
AMC's Small Town Security
9,074 views

Heart Transplant with Kelsey Grammer from Kelsey Grammer, Joe Hartzler, Ian Pfaff, Aaron Ulrich, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, Andrew Grissom, Matt Sweeney, and BoTown Sound

Added

Heart Transplant with Kelsey Grammer from Kelsey Grammer, Joe Hartzler, Ian Pfaff

Behind the Candelabra: The Reviews Are In from Bryan, Chris Poole, and Funny Or Die

Added

Behind the Candelabra: The Reviews Are In from Bryan, Chris Poole, Funny Or Die

Added

Lil Dicky - White Dude from lildicky

Added

It's Not About the Nail from jheadley

Over Analyzing Texts from NicePiece, Ace Marrero, and Janna VanHeertum

Added

Over Analyzing Texts from NicePiece, Ace Marrero, Janna VanHeertum

Stop It! from Katy Walker, JasonCarden, Caitlin Smith, Betsy Sodaro, Lisa Lumar, Matt Sweeney, Aaron Ulrich, James Henchy, and Caleb Swyers

Added

Stop It! from Katy Walker, JasonCarden, Caitlin Smith

Anchorman 2 Official Teaser Trailer #2 from Will Ferrell, Dave Koechner, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, and Funny Or Die

Added

Anchorman 2 Official Teaser Trailer #2 from Will Ferrell, Dave Koechner, Paul Rudd

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 8 Recap from KristenRozanski, Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, Ross Buran, JohnFord, and Marvin Lemus

Added

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 8 Recap from KristenRozanski, Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson

Downton Diddy from Sean Combs, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram, Nick Wiger, Andy Maxwell, Funny Or Die, Betsy Koch, Andrew Grissom, Ellie del Campo, Melissa Gould McNeely, and BoTown Sound

Added

Downton Diddy from Sean Combs, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram

She-Ra with Kylie Minogue from Kylie Minogue, Alfie Allen, Danny Jelinek, Ryan Perez, Brian Lane, Funny Or Die, Dave Theune, Andrée Vermeulen, William Morse, Andrew Grissom, Allison Johnson, Ellie del Campo, Melissa Gould McNeely, and BoTown Sound

Added

She-Ra with Kylie Minogue from Kylie Minogue, Alfie Allen, Danny Jelinek

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: James Franco from Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Andy Samberg, Ed Norton, The Lonely Island, Scott Aukerman, BJPorter, Brian Lane, Between Two Ferns, Funny Or Die, Betsy Koch, Comedy Deathray, and Antonio Scarlata

Added

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: James Franco from Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Andy Samberg

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office from Brian Boone

Added

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office Most of us sit in front of a desk all day, typing away at a computer, which is partly to blame for our obesity crisis. But just because you're sedentary all day,... by Brian Boone

10 Rules I Learned From Lifetime Movies & An Interview With My Friend Who Wrote One from Andy McDonald

Added

10 Rules I Learned From Lifetime Movies Put down the photos you've collected of your next victim, and the cigarette you're using to burn the eyes out, and the lipstick you're applying liberally around ... by Andy McDonald

An Admittedly Incomplete Guide To Arrested Development from Jason Flowers

Added

An Admittedly Incomplete Guide To Arrested Development Arrested Development hits Netflix on May 26th with an all-new season and, hopefully, a lot of the same great running gags we've come to know and love. Been a whi... by Jason Flowers

14 Photos That Can't Be a Coincidence, Right? from Look What I Found

Added

14 Photos That Can't Be a Coincidence, Right? There are times when it seems everything on earth aligns to create that picture-perfect moment. Either that or somebody's messing with you. by Look What I Found

Let's Make all the Anthony Weiner Puns Now and Just Get Them Out of the Way from Funny Or Die

Added

Let's Make all the Anthony Weiner Puns Now and Just Get Them Out of the Way Former disgraced Congressman/walking NY Post dream Anthony Weiner has announced that he will run for mayor of New York. This is fantastic news if you've been wai... by Funny Or Die

Hollywood On Vine with Simon Rex from Simon Rex, andymilonakis, Dashiell Driscoll, Avin Das, Katy Walker, Matt Sweeney, Caleb Swyers, and Funny Or Die

Added

Hollywood On Vine with Simon Rex from Simon Rex, andymilonakis, Dashiell Driscoll

Introducing EHHHHHHHH.COM from Ed Asner, Cloris Leachman, Rip Taylor, and Funny Or Die

Added

Introducing EHHHHHHHH.COM from Ed Asner, Cloris Leachman, Rip Taylor

The Kings of Summer Red Band Trailer from Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, Hannibal Buress, Megan Mullally, Thomas Middleditch, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Kumail Nanjiani, Eugene Cordero, Angela Trimbur, Nick Rutherford, Craig Cackowski, and Tony Hale

Added

The Kings of Summer Red Band Trailer from Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie

Arrested Development Returns! EXCLUSIVE Sneak Preview from Nick Wiger and Funny Or Die

Added

Arrested Development Returns! EXCLUSIVE Sneak Preview from Nick Wiger, Funny Or Die

Richard Linklater's "Before 30 Seconds From Now" from BonafideComedy, Drew DiFonzo Marks, Ally Hord, madelinewalter, and Ryan Moulton

Added

Richard Linklater's "Before 30 Seconds From Now" from BonafideComedy, Drew DiFonzo Marks, Ally Hord

The Mouseketeer from Matt Oberg, Jody Lambert, Grace Helbig, Sydney Poitier, Peach OBrien, Funny Or Die, MichaelChernus, and dennislambert

Added

The Mouseketeer from Matt Oberg, Jody Lambert, Grace Helbig

Dealing With Bed Bugs In 19 Easy Steps from John Zachary Townsend

Added

Dealing With Bed Bugs In 19 Easy Steps An easy, step by step rundown on how to deal with a bed bug problem. by John Zachary Townsend

The Exploding People from Justin Bilicki

Added

The Exploding People A weekly foray into the lives of fictional shitbags. from Justin Bilicki

6 Gifs of Miguel's Epic Stage Dive from Andy Maxwell

Added

6 Gifs of Miguel's Epic Stage Dive Miguel attempted to fly during the Billboard Awards last Sunday night. He didn't quite make it, but he did manage to crush a couple of women's heads in the proce... by Andy Maxwell

8 Reasons Why Justin Bieber Is A True Artist from Pat O'Brien

Added

8 Reasons Why Justin Bieber Is A True Artist After being booed during a recent acceptance speech at the Billboard Music Awards, Justin Bieber defensively claimed “I’m an artist and I should be taken serious... by Pat O'Brien

THIS IS THE END - Seth & Jay Confess from ThisIsTheEnd, Seth Rogen, and Jay Baruchel

Added

THIS IS THE END - Seth & Jay Confess from ThisIsTheEnd, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel

Added

Inside Focus from The_Hangover_III

They Surf with Patton Oswalt from Patton Oswalt, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram, Andy Maxwell, Funny Or Die, Chris Poole, Caleb Swyers, Katy Walker, and Brian Lane

Added

They Surf with Patton Oswalt from Patton Oswalt, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram

Gay of Thrones:Game of Thrones Ep. 7 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Eileen O'Connell, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, JohnFord, and Marvin Lemus

Added

Gay of Thrones:Game of Thrones Ep. 7 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Eileen O'Connell, Erin Gibson

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 6 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, and JohnFord

Added

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 6 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz

Gays Beware with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei from Jesse Tyler Ferguson, George Takei, Brad Goreski, lauren, DaddyReynolds, Funny Or Die, Deborah Tarica, Betsy Koch, and Ross Buran

Added

Gays Beware with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei from Jesse Tyler Ferguson, George Takei, Brad Goreski

Everyone Who Showed Up for Stefon's Wedding from TheMagicHour

Added

Everyone Who Showed Up for Stefon's Wedding The wedding of Stefon and Anderson Cooper, on the season finale of Saturday Night Live, was truly a must-see-TV event. Here's a look at the guest list, which wa... by TheMagicHour

7 Reasons Why You’re Sleeping On The Couch from Brandon Scott Wolf

Added

7 Reasons Why You’re Sleeping On The Couch “Why are you sleeping on the couch?” has been a question that people have asked ever since Jonathon Couch invented the couch in the Spring of 1843 and up until e... by Brandon Scott Wolf