Don't mar yourself in your cry for help! Things might start looking up one day, and then you'll be too ugly to enjoy them. Seriously. There's nothing fun about putting on your Armani smoking blazer, lighting up a Cuban, and sashaying into the party only to have people scream and run.

Instead, staple your boss's head as a cry for help! God knows, that motherfu... more >

Don't mar yourself in your cry for help! Things might start looking up one day, and then you'll be too ugly to enjoy them. Seriously. There's nothing fun about putting on your Armani smoking blazer, lighting up a Cuban, and sashaying into the party only to have people scream and run.

Instead, staple your boss's head as a cry for help! God knows, that motherfucker deserves it.

I do have to say that based on your excellent caps, accounting was a mistake and you should make sure your over-weaning parents pay for that heavily. May I suggest a timely midlife crisis and a switch to a more satisfying, yet low-paying job? "Unemployed writer" might work.