Hi, I'm Mitchell. I'm half man, half amazing, and half writer. I also flunked math.
Imaginary Girlfriend Advertisement
Thoughts on Snapchat
My Dog is a Douche
Below the Rim
I Hate Fantasy Football
Can't Find Love? Find food.
An Awkward Person's Guide to Dance
Bar Hopping Off A Cliff
Why Am I A Cubs Fan?
If I Was Your Boyfriend
A Letter to the Girl Who Keeps on Flooding My Facebook Feed with Skanky Pictures
Your Likely Exercise Timeline
How to Make the Scripps National Spelling Bee More Exciting
Lamest Attempts at Social Networking Seduction: Kate Upton Edition
What in the Hell Does Swag Mean?
Journey to the Center of My Spam Folder
Jose Canseco's Twitter Feed: An Anaylsis
2012 Puppy Bowl Draft Analysis
Tweets by @mpiddy