molls
I've gotten over 1200 emails today asking why my last post of the week is so late. Fact is, I was out getting crunk in the club last night. I don't really know what happened or where I went, but this is the last photograph of the night:
Yeah, that's some lady's lower vadge and thigh-piece in the frame. Her skirt was tulle and plaid and attached to a leotard that looked something like this:
There appears to be some utility belt around her body. I guess she's going to propel down Hipster Mountain directly in to the seventh layer of hell or something. I don't know. I really am clueless as to what this person was doing. Between her Villiage People-inspired DJ and her faux-interesting outfit I guess she had a neat little style put together... but all she did all night was sing-talk in to the microphone and occasionally scream at everyone in the room to shut the fuck up. Anyway, she looks like deep down her name is Heather and she has a really meaningfulish soul that's stiffled by her surroundings. She seems like a product of the environment she's attached herself to. That's pretty bold or whatever. Props to Heather, I guess.
Beside twelve dollar drinks, they also had bubbles! And stickers! This is my friend Alexis blowing bubbles.
I spent the majority of the night drinking straight vodka and trying not to look uncomfortable. At one point I remember touching the DJs face because he was playing Beyonce (my partytime fave) and he didn't get mad at me or anything. Then we went to Teddy's, where Alexis got a dude to buy her a gin and tonic which I drank half of. This was the part of the night where my attitude took a turn worse than Craig Manning on the third season of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Suddenly I needed to eat chili fries and then punch something. I learned a lesson about gin and me last night. If me learning lessons about myself isn't good enough for you then I don't know what anyone can offer you.
Man, I'm not sure what else to say. I want to make sure that I leave things really interesting here so that you all can look back at this time we spent together and be like "Fuck, man. Molls taught me so much." Let me tell you about some more awesome things you should check out and we'll leave it at that. I'm just going to give you all of my awesome:
1) On Janet Jackson's "The Velvet Rope" album, there is an interlude called "The Internet", because I only have it im mp4 format, I can't uplaod it to my mp3-only blog, but I can tell you that you need to get your hands on it and listen to what the Internet sounded like to Janet Jackson back in 1997ish.
2) Boner Party. It's one of the best blogs ever. Yes, out of fairness and vanity I feel I should mention that I was voted the Best Newcomer Boner of 2008 by readers of the site, but my love for them is exclusive of that fact. If you like hot babes and getting boners and talking about why hot babes give you boners, you will like this site.
3) Hipster Runoff. It's my other favorite blog. It's only for people who get it. If you don't get it, then you need to get a clue.
4) Remember the cat in the pink bear costume? Here's his brother dressed like a cow:
God, the sickest part of being a cow must be the HUGE, dangly, exposed nipples. Sick.
5) This T-Pain video is nuts. Highlights: the GOOOOOOOOOD dial and WISCANSON.
OK, so I think that's pretty much it. Don't forget about me. I love you.
I spent the majority of the night drinking straight vodka and trying not to look uncomfortable. At one point I remember touching the DJs face because he was playing Beyonce (my partytime fave) and he didn't get mad at me or anything. Then we went to Teddy's, where Alexis got a dude to buy her a gin and tonic which I drank half of. This was the part of the night where my attitude took a turn worse than Craig Manning on the third season of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Suddenly I needed to eat chili fries and then punch something. I learned a lesson about gin and me last night. If me learning lessons about myself isn't good enough for you then I don't know what anyone can offer you.
Man, I'm not sure what else to say. I want to make sure that I leave things really interesting here so that you all can look back at this time we spent together and be like "Fuck, man. Molls taught me so much." Let me tell you about some more awesome things you should check out and we'll leave it at that. I'm just going to give you all of my awesome:
1) On Janet Jackson's "The Velvet Rope" album, there is an interlude called "The Internet", because I only have it im mp4 format, I can't uplaod it to my mp3-only blog, but I can tell you that you need to get your hands on it and listen to what the Internet sounded like to Janet Jackson back in 1997ish.
2) Boner Party. It's one of the best blogs ever. Yes, out of fairness and vanity I feel I should mention that I was voted the Best Newcomer Boner of 2008 by readers of the site, but my love for them is exclusive of that fact. If you like hot babes and getting boners and talking about why hot babes give you boners, you will like this site.
3) Hipster Runoff. It's my other favorite blog. It's only for people who get it. If you don't get it, then you need to get a clue.
4) Remember the cat in the pink bear costume? Here's his brother dressed like a cow:
5) This T-Pain video is nuts. Highlights: the GOOOOOOOOOD dial and WISCANSON.
OK, so I think that's pretty much it. Don't forget about me. I love you.
Wow, you guys.
Wow.
I don't know what to say. I mean, just... wow.
Well, let me start this the easiest way I know how: Thank you. Thank you for putting Slider back on the front page. I know that the millions of hits (that the FOD team likely had to wipe from the counter in an attempt to be fair with the other videos) that I drove really caught the eye of the staff here and encouraged them to do the right thing and put it back where it belonged:
Bang bang! Look at that! That's me! I made that happen! MOLLY MCALEER, FTW 4EVA, YOU GUYS!!!
So that's the awesome news. I guess now we'll do the shitty news and then the rad-but-less-rad-than-Slider-being-on-the-front-page news.
The bad news is that Indie 103.1 is getting shut down and being replaced with a station called "El Gato" or "The Pussy" (I stopped taking Spanish in 8th grade, the translation might be looser than I'd initially aimed for.) I don't know the deets, but for those of you who lives outside of Los Angeles, Indie 103.1 is the only really great radio station in LA. Well, no. I mean, I'll do KDAY because I like to keep the party poppin' devastation-status, but Indie is a totally chillbombs station that plays fairly solid jams. So here's my question, right? I'm thinking that a lot of Hollywood cheeseball types listen to Indie in their car to take a break from their mainstream lives and remember what pot smells like 'cause the kids who lived across the hall from them in college smoked it or whatever. Those bros have money, right? Why don't you super rich mainstream-types that first heard The Shins from the inside of a Bentley throw some billz at Indie? As I mentioned yesterday, I'm not in to telling people how to live their lives, but it's a thought I'd like to extend in your general direction. Do with it what you will. I'd be willing to use my living room as a studio. That could be my contribution. [UPDATE: Indie is now broadcasting online exclusively. Go click their banner ads or something]
OK, and then some more great news is that apprently television's Steve Carell has purchaed the Marshfiled Hills General Store in Marshfield, MA. That's where I spent every single summer as a child and that store is one of my most favorite places on this earth. I bet that it was in serious jeopardy of being shut down and he saved it. "IN THIS ECONOMY" that makes SC a true American Hero.
... and that's about all I got for right now. I think the highlight of my time blogging here will be that cat in a pink bear suit I posted yesterday. There's four more videos on www.themollsshow.com in the "mail bag" and "field trips" sections. Go check them out. If you want. Whatever.
Wow.
I don't know what to say. I mean, just... wow.
Well, let me start this the easiest way I know how: Thank you. Thank you for putting Slider back on the front page. I know that the millions of hits (that the FOD team likely had to wipe from the counter in an attempt to be fair with the other videos) that I drove really caught the eye of the staff here and encouraged them to do the right thing and put it back where it belonged:
Bang bang! Look at that! That's me! I made that happen! MOLLY MCALEER, FTW 4EVA, YOU GUYS!!!
So that's the awesome news. I guess now we'll do the shitty news and then the rad-but-less-rad-than-Slider-being-on-the-front-page news.
The bad news is that Indie 103.1 is getting shut down and being replaced with a station called "El Gato" or "The Pussy" (I stopped taking Spanish in 8th grade, the translation might be looser than I'd initially aimed for.) I don't know the deets, but for those of you who lives outside of Los Angeles, Indie 103.1 is the only really great radio station in LA. Well, no. I mean, I'll do KDAY because I like to keep the party poppin' devastation-status, but Indie is a totally chillbombs station that plays fairly solid jams. So here's my question, right? I'm thinking that a lot of Hollywood cheeseball types listen to Indie in their car to take a break from their mainstream lives and remember what pot smells like 'cause the kids who lived across the hall from them in college smoked it or whatever. Those bros have money, right? Why don't you super rich mainstream-types that first heard The Shins from the inside of a Bentley throw some billz at Indie? As I mentioned yesterday, I'm not in to telling people how to live their lives, but it's a thought I'd like to extend in your general direction. Do with it what you will. I'd be willing to use my living room as a studio. That could be my contribution. [UPDATE: Indie is now broadcasting online exclusively. Go click their banner ads or something]
OK, and then some more great news is that apprently television's Steve Carell has purchaed the Marshfiled Hills General Store in Marshfield, MA. That's where I spent every single summer as a child and that store is one of my most favorite places on this earth. I bet that it was in serious jeopardy of being shut down and he saved it. "IN THIS ECONOMY" that makes SC a true American Hero.
... and that's about all I got for right now. I think the highlight of my time blogging here will be that cat in a pink bear suit I posted yesterday. There's four more videos on www.themollsshow.com in the "mail bag" and "field trips" sections. Go check them out. If you want. Whatever.
1) I don't know if you have have taken a moment to check out my other blog and bask in the glory that is my new manicure, but if you haven't here are the basic facts you need to know:
- They are rainbow and cheetah print
- My BFF Alexis stopped some (CLEARLY) fabulous woman on the street who had them to find out where she got them
- I was blindfolded by Alexis and taken to get these nails. I had no idea what my fingers were going to look like when they took the blindfold off my face, and this is what they looked like:
My initial thought was that they were so awesome that I needed to fear them. They did make me nervous. I knew I could pull off a look this bold, but I wasn't sure if they would get me in trouble. You see, these are the kind of nails someone else might see on me and kill me for. I could wind up in a ditch, my naked fingertips multilated, slowly draining blood from my body and quickly catching infection. I would die from blood loss and panic. Then I realized that that was an unrealistic fear and if anyone is going to kill me for anything, it's because they love me too much and it hurts them to walk the Earth knowing they can't have me. That would be the biggest ego-stroke of a death. Who cares at that point? Also, I still have legs even if someone takes my fingertips and I can just walk to a hospital. Ha! Try hurting me now! I can't be beat!
2) I don't know if you guys like comedy or not, but this site has a bunch of it. Last night I saw this flippin' hilarious video Slider that was made by the nice kids who do The Midnight Show at UCB was on the front page. Then I woke up this morning it wasn't. I think it's awesome and it doesn't even have anything to do with me. You should go watch it so many times that it goes back on the front page. I'm not telling you how to live your life or whatever. It's actually really not my problem if you watch it or not, to be honest. I just thought it would be something nice you could do. That's fine. You just do whatever makes you comfortable. But also watch the video.
3) Yo. The longest meeting ever happened yesterday. SAG met for 30 hours. Straight. That's not really awesome other than they hopefully got some major biz done. What is awesome is that one of my favorite people these days, Justine Bateman was BLOGGING FROM THE MEETING! Nothing confidential, just the public updates as they happened and LOLCats and self pics. Do I need to explain why that's awesome? Fine. Justine Bateman was doodling in her virtual notebook during the longest meeting ever in the recorded history of meetings other than that time all those dudes wrote the Declaration of Independence.
4) Now, I don't really like a lot of fuzzy things that don't belong to me, so when I found this picture of a cat in a bear suit yesterday I was suprised that I found it to be... awesome?
2) I don't know if you guys like comedy or not, but this site has a bunch of it. Last night I saw this flippin' hilarious video Slider that was made by the nice kids who do The Midnight Show at UCB was on the front page. Then I woke up this morning it wasn't. I think it's awesome and it doesn't even have anything to do with me. You should go watch it so many times that it goes back on the front page. I'm not telling you how to live your life or whatever. It's actually really not my problem if you watch it or not, to be honest. I just thought it would be something nice you could do. That's fine. You just do whatever makes you comfortable. But also watch the video.
3) Yo. The longest meeting ever happened yesterday. SAG met for 30 hours. Straight. That's not really awesome other than they hopefully got some major biz done. What is awesome is that one of my favorite people these days, Justine Bateman was BLOGGING FROM THE MEETING! Nothing confidential, just the public updates as they happened and LOLCats and self pics. Do I need to explain why that's awesome? Fine. Justine Bateman was doodling in her virtual notebook during the longest meeting ever in the recorded history of meetings other than that time all those dudes wrote the Declaration of Independence.
"Good Morning! I’ve been up for 25 hours. Still in a meeting that started at 9am yesterday morning."
One time I got kicked out of a board meeting at my old job because I couldn't stop laughing. Another time at another job, I got yelled at for laughing during the fire safety lecture. I don't know how these guys did it yesterday. I was have been having a LOLfest.
4) Now, I don't really like a lot of fuzzy things that don't belong to me, so when I found this picture of a cat in a bear suit yesterday I was suprised that I found it to be... awesome?
2 CUTE 2 BE 4 FORGOTTEN, RIGHT YOU GUYS? Jeeeesssey Peasy, that's a cute cat. It's so angry and yet it knows what it has to do. That cat's like "I'm not happy about this, but I understand that this is my job." It's an accepting cat that knows you don't need to sell something all the time. Like, he's not SELLING that suit, but he's not not wearing it. I think this cat is actually symbolic of how a lot of us live our lives. Think about that. And then watch Slider.
Four. It's not a traditional number for a list. Usually people like their lists in multiples of five or maybe even three. In some ways, the awesomeness that is my complete disregard for tradition is Awesome Thing number five, but if I made that more clear it would be pointless. OMG, acousitc Duncan Sheik just came on my iTunes. I'm so humiliated.
I'll see you guys later.
Four. It's not a traditional number for a list. Usually people like their lists in multiples of five or maybe even three. In some ways, the awesomeness that is my complete disregard for tradition is Awesome Thing number five, but if I made that more clear it would be pointless. OMG, acousitc Duncan Sheik just came on my iTunes. I'm so humiliated.
I'll see you guys later.
My BFF Edward and I always like to go on these really long scary rides up in to the Hollywood Hills where we think we're going to get killed by some murderer or a Cory Haim that got loose and stare at the lights and basically Secret the shit out of our lives. Or we do what the common folk call Secreting, which is something I feel like awesome people have always done on instinct which is just basically putting out in to the Universe what is is you're going to do as if you have already done it. It's just lying positively to yourself. It's like those really sick people that you sometimes run in to in life who do really horrible things and then retell their own stories in their heads so many times that the truth is more or less wiped from their memories and all that's left is what THEY want to believe. That's just an example. I'm not some sort of freelance example writer so don't hold me accountable, but if you did like that example and you would like to hire me to write more examples of things for you, you can feel free to contact me via email.
Annnnnyyyywayyy, tonight we were Secreting and looking at LA and driving around talking about how much we love this city and the people that inspired us and we got on the topic on music videos. Ed was all "the whole point of a music video is to imagine yourself being that performer in that moment and feeling as cool as them." 1) Too deepish 2) Too trueish. 3) My hat is like a shark's fin. So we were going back and forth about all the people we used to watch and want to be and one name kept coming up over and over again: one Miss Mariah Carey aka Mrs. Cannon aka Mimi. I wanted to be her in the Always Be My Baby video (give me a denim blouse and a tire swing and I'm a fucking clam), Ed was a fan of Fantasy (That makes total sense. I can see him getting behind the carnival theme.) We both really liked Honey, which I suspect is a byproduct of our deep-rooted wish to work with the late Notorious B.I.G., whom we would only have spiritual access to via Ma$e, Diddy or another long-time member of the Bad Boy clan.
Later on we went to In and Out where Ed explained to me how to talk a police officer out of writing you unnecessary tickets. His advice? Just say "I don’t call that a loud music ticket, Officer. I was enjoying that. I call that an enjoyment ticket." Sounds good right? My cheeseburger was pretty awesome too.
Annnnnyyyywayyy, tonight we were Secreting and looking at LA and driving around talking about how much we love this city and the people that inspired us and we got on the topic on music videos. Ed was all "the whole point of a music video is to imagine yourself being that performer in that moment and feeling as cool as them." 1) Too deepish 2) Too trueish. 3) My hat is like a shark's fin. So we were going back and forth about all the people we used to watch and want to be and one name kept coming up over and over again: one Miss Mariah Carey aka Mrs. Cannon aka Mimi. I wanted to be her in the Always Be My Baby video (give me a denim blouse and a tire swing and I'm a fucking clam), Ed was a fan of Fantasy (That makes total sense. I can see him getting behind the carnival theme.) We both really liked Honey, which I suspect is a byproduct of our deep-rooted wish to work with the late Notorious B.I.G., whom we would only have spiritual access to via Ma$e, Diddy or another long-time member of the Bad Boy clan.
Later on we went to In and Out where Ed explained to me how to talk a police officer out of writing you unnecessary tickets. His advice? Just say "I don’t call that a loud music ticket, Officer. I was enjoying that. I call that an enjoyment ticket." Sounds good right? My cheeseburger was pretty awesome too.
So, I turned 25 on Saturday. That was cool. One of the best things that happened to me at my party was that a dear friend showed up with a Fudgy the Whale cake, which is symbolic of both my childhood in Massachusetts and how much I like eating things. Here's a photo of me and my 39 chins accepting the cake:
So that was pretty awesome. Oh, the cake says "Twitter's down, y'all" because I am constantly Twittering from my phone. That's right. I use Twitter. A lot. And you know what? When you pull your head out of your own technologically unaware ass and sign up for your own account, you're going to feel like a real jerk for ever judging me. I don't want you to have that feeling, but I also know that I'm not wrong. That's the sad part about being me. It's hard living five years ahead of everyone else. It's like that show Early Edition, except I don't have any blind friends and newspapers are just something that kinda artsy people wrap presents in.
Oh! And one of the other truly awesome presents I received was Karrine Steffans' first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen. Karrine also Twitters, but beside that. she sucks a lot of literal dick. In fact, you may better know her as Super Head. She's my favorite post-modern ho because not only does she own her actions, but she moves forth with those indiscretions and makes choices like this. For anyone too afraid to click the link, you should know that it's just a video of Karrine giving a lecture to a bunch of college students. It's pretty bold. Things get far too intense right around part 3 of the 4-part series.
OK, so it's early and we're going to be spending the whole week together, so I'm going to go walk around my neighborhood... but BTW, I would totally have a blind friend if I knew more blind people.
And uhhhh, go watch my web show.
Oh! And one of the other truly awesome presents I received was Karrine Steffans' first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen. Karrine also Twitters, but beside that. she sucks a lot of literal dick. In fact, you may better know her as Super Head. She's my favorite post-modern ho because not only does she own her actions, but she moves forth with those indiscretions and makes choices like this. For anyone too afraid to click the link, you should know that it's just a video of Karrine giving a lecture to a bunch of college students. It's pretty bold. Things get far too intense right around part 3 of the 4-part series.
OK, so it's early and we're going to be spending the whole week together, so I'm going to go walk around my neighborhood... but BTW, I would totally have a blind friend if I knew more blind people.
And uhhhh, go watch my web show.
This is an awesome photograph I just took. It features me thinking about eating a Cheese-It and simultaneously having extremely romantic feelings for said Cheese-It. Anyway, i just wanted to show you guys this 'cause it's an example of art imitating life. A lot of you have been emailing me really intense questions these days, and time and time again i get asked if I think art imitates life or if life imitates art. I say the same thing over and over again, "It depends on how imitatablish your life is." Then usually I never hear back from them because they realize I make up words and really have no clue what I'm talking about.
On a positive note, do you have any idea how long they will leave your electricity on when you haven't paid the bill? It fucking shocks me! I wake up daily unsure how i still live in an apartment with electricity and i flip the switch and BANG! there it is! Lights and hair dryers and toaster ovens and everything. It's like winning a small lottery every single day. One day I will wake up in a cold, dark apartment, but that day is going to be normal. That's the life equivalent of the drive home from Vegas or something.
Should I be using this space to change the world?
On a positive note, do you have any idea how long they will leave your electricity on when you haven't paid the bill? It fucking shocks me! I wake up daily unsure how i still live in an apartment with electricity and i flip the switch and BANG! there it is! Lights and hair dryers and toaster ovens and everything. It's like winning a small lottery every single day. One day I will wake up in a cold, dark apartment, but that day is going to be normal. That's the life equivalent of the drive home from Vegas or something.
Should I be using this space to change the world?
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