So besides giving jobs these jobs will have you smackin your lips.

Web can Striping (All the pay and none of the cum on you or STD's)

DJ (just play the hits and take the drunk bitches home if you want some action ;)

Working at Halliburton (Go on yo an fu*k up all you want because your geting a pay raise buddy!)

Governor of California (No matter how much you suck you can't be as bad as Aronld was.)

New member on SNL (its ok you don't have to be funny on that show anymore because they quit trying years ago + your not getting on the t.v anytime soon.) 

"Meat Man" (its not a hard job but you must be hard for the jobs because someone has to deliver to them lonely house wives god dang it! An it's going to be me!)

Border patrol (Because how the hell are they going to know your not doing your job right or not man.)

A cook at a Vegan restaurant (Because most of the food there that people eat doesn't have to be cooked at all to eat. Now if only i could find one for the house.)

Steel Worker (since there are no Steel jobs left you can have fun collecting unemployment when you get laid off after a few weeks. Hey Thanks USA leaders your doing a bang up job champs)

working at Dash (since the Kardashian have never worked a day in there life you can half ass everything and get away with it.)

Having Sex with a Kardashian ( Do once put it up online and boom where talking made money coming your way player!)

Work it's like a hand job, you don't want too do it but your f*cked it an there is a pay off.

Being management at hooters (Sports, TiTS & ASS an food what more do you want out of life bro.)
Rogan Sells Person in F.L ( an you already know why my people.)

Your Mother ( because you seem like a good kid.)

Bowling alley attendant (you can show up high and drunk all day if  you want because all your going to be doing is sleeping and looking at fat people and handing out old bowling shoes.)

movie critics (get pay for doing what your already f*cking doing an thats talk sh*t on everything.)

gynecologist (Well some time it would be good job you know as long as she is easy ;) hiyo!

LAD GM (because now you have that Magic money too use up.)

Bloging for Funny or Die(So i would not know because am 4 years into this crap and have never even once been payed in any way at all. But if you do it payed more power to you because this sh*t is cake dogs.)

Mall Cop ( "So all i have too do is stand around looking fat in this fake cop gear and yell teens all day long when drinking my dite soda a my man and i get off before 11pm because i'll be home by 10:30pm };-0 because the Mall closes at 9pm is fine by me yo. Well well well i can do dat sh*t son!)

Dive Bar Cook (No one is coming in too eat and you know this. besides working as a cook at a dive bar working there is gayer than a train of butt sex on hot summer night. "in the gay as in this sucks kind of way not the happy bear guy type of way ok people i said it gay gay gay". An turst me working as a cook ain't no KY slip and slide fun ride.)

Drunk as Dad (Hell it's not like you see them kids or anything and as far as you know and what you told the state them babies ain't mine sucka! Because dat bitch done wants my d*ck some more in her b-hole and v-hole if you know what am sayin there goverment.)

teaching LD classes ( MAN F*CK these burnout teens because we all know they done gave up on there self an the world by now.)

a White NBA basketball player from the USA. (Just Keep that beach warm like a ture pro player.)