No Dark Hobbits
Peter Jackson, currently working on the epic Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit, has fired his casting director as a result of racially discriminatory parameters given to those hoping to act as hobbit extras. Specifically, the casting director called for âlight skin tonesâ and denied Shire residency to a hopeful of Pakistani background. To avoid further backlash from this incident, Jackson has decided to recast the entire film with dark-skinned actors.
Early reports discussed plans to change the title of the upcoming epic to The Bobbit, as a means to imply the famed hobbit Bilbo Baggins would be played by a black actor. However, those rumors were dismissed early on after entertainment polls showed that many movie-goers assumed the subject of the film would involve Lorena Bobbit, who is best known for cutting a dick off. Other race-specific re-titling rumors have circulated, as well, including The Browbbit (Mexican), The Siciliobbit (Italian), and The Hobbit (Haitian). None of these reports are confirmed and many are recognized as more racist than the initial issue regarding the casting director.
Hereâs a sneak peak at some of the potential dark-skinned casting choices Jackson may use to populate Middle Earth this time around:
Beyond re-casting, rumor has it that Jackson will replace himself as director with Tyler Perry, who plans to substitute Gandalf with his recurring character Madea. The film will inexplicably make a shit ton of money.
My name is t.j. and the words âreportâ and ârumorâ should be read as âlie made up by t.j.â