REALLY REAL REALITY REALIZATIONS
10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM REALITY TV: 1. Your Dad is probably not as embarrassing as you think. Please see exhibit A- Bruce Jenner- not only has Bruce lost his Olympic winning nut sack to a tribe of women whose names all start with the letter "K"- his plastic surgery has now turned him into a modern day Frankenstein- he basically resembles the Bride of Chuckie 2. Don't feel bad if your not getting flowers: The Bachelor has reminded me to remember what's attached to that Rose. Most likely it's a huge douche-bag with a napoleon complex or an unforgivably bad tattoo. 3. Don't feel bad if you have to take the morning after pill anything is better than being 16 and pregnant. 4. Be fit, tan, and big breasted this will trick people into thinking your prettier and more interesting than you are- please see exhibit B: Audrina Partridge. 5. There are bigger Douche-bags than your Boyfriend- two words: Scott Disick.
6. Fertility Treatments are not always the way to go- John & Kate Plus 87. The Ocean is Salty because of Whale Sperm (proof quote from Snooki) I think this quote must have some type of validity because Rutgers paid her over 30,000 to speak "I hate the ocean, it's all whale sperm. Everybody Google it, because that's why the water is salty, from the f*ckin' whale sperm"- Snooki 8. You don't have to be smart to write a book- (Paris Hilton, Snooki, Heidi Montage & Spencer Pratt) 9. More than 5 plastic surgery operations will f*ck your shit up: please see : Heidi Montag - there should be no confusion 10. If your skinny you can make money- Bethenny Frankel has created the "skinny girl" empire