This week, the world lost the great Elizabeth Taylor. But since this is a comedy site, we will not really dive into the details. We will, however, laugh at the fact that the guy who wrote her obituary died nearly six years before her:
It's not shocking that newspapers ready the obituaries of notable figures well before their deaths. But c'mon, that's pretty great. And on top of that, odds are that he didn't write it on his deathbed. It's very possible Gussow wrote that in the 80s and it was just sitting in a folder on his desk, with a note that read:
I was bored and feeling somewhat morbid so I began fantasizing about what celebrities will die and how I'd honor them. Don't judge me. This is what I do. You knew that when you hired me to write obituaries. Jesus. Anyway, when I pass well before these folks, feel free to use pre-written obituaries as you please. K thanx bye.
So, in honor of Mel Gussow, it got us thinking about what other celebrities are newspapers anxiously waiting to be found floating in someone's pool.
Obituary Probably Written: 1998, but updated after every episode of "60 Minutes" to accommodate all the things he "doesn't understand."
Will Probably Die: 2014, upon which he'll say something like "Why are caskets so decorative? If you're inside them, who cares what they look like on the outside. I don't understand."
Robert Deniro/Al Pacino