Hall of Fame
The lawn is an unquestionably desirable spot to unwind after a long night. But despite the benefits of comfort and proximity, you'll never know if it'll rain overnight. You also run the risk of a strung-out townie digging into your pockets and using your dad's money as wet wipes.
With the Recoup-Coop, you absorb the same, sweet experience of passing out on the lawn while nullifying the associated bummers. You may ask, "Do I still have to get all the way up to go to the fridge to get a morning beer?" The answer is, "Stop asking stupid questions." We've installed a hamster-like water bottle that can be filled with any liquid you crave, allowing you to recover -- or recoup -- in the easiest way possible!
The fraternity basement is the fabled home of many fun and games: dancing, kegs and dancing on kegs. But mainly some sloppy ole' sex.
It's also the home of the dreaded "frat sludge," a potpourri of nasty. We'll just assume you already know what it consists of. (*cough* pee *cough* lubricants *cough* Schlitz)
However, you don't have to let the party poop be a party-pooper.
Introducing SludgeGuard -- the only way to keep your heels dry and your boat shoes sparkly and brown.
Choose from one of our many options of pastels.
You may not speak softly, but you can sure as hell carry a big stick! While you're at it, you might as well show some GDI's who runs campus. (That's "God Damn Independents" for all you GDI's out there)
1. Observe GDI walk into (or near) your fraternity house.
2. Shout in his general direction.
3. Reach for the stick.
4. Grab the stick.
5. Beat said GDI mercilessly.
Keep your eyes on the road, your hands on the wheel and your dip spit off your khakis!