Captain Hammered ( A new action packed adventure of a super hero dark comedy movie that is so rated R. Kenny Paul Jacobs ( Adam Edge Copeland ) was born on october 30 1973 @ 4:20 pm in Rush University Medical Center in Chicago illnois. His mother Jayme Lee Jacobs ( Bridgette Wilson ) died giving birth to him that day. An so Kenny Paul Jacobs was raised by his single dad Bobby Jacobs ( King Kong Bundy ) in the south side of Chicago, where his dad Bobby Jacobs owned and ran a bar called The Snake Pit. As for Kenny Paul Jacob after high school he became a masked pro wrestling under the ring name Mr. Unknown for Part Unknown. He was doing his pro wrestling thing for meany years always mixing up his looks, but he retired from pro wrestlers on April 11 2011, the day his father passed away at work for a stroke. An in his dad's well Kenny Paul Jacobs was given the The Snake Pit Bar. An so now Kenny Paul Jacobs owns and runs the bar. But on April 14 2011 when working on re-opening the Snake Pit Bar Kenny Paul Jacobs life would change forever my friends. When Cleaning up the basement of the bar Kenny Paul Jacobs found a bottle of "Snake Venom juice" liquor and after drink the bottle when fixing up the place this liquor made a forever lasting mark on his life. So now when ever Kenny Paul Jacobs gets drunk he has super strenght and super healing powers kick in, but only when his drunk when his not drunk his just and everyday joe just like me and you. So ever since that day Kenny Paul Jacobs has been drunkenly fighting crime in the city of Chicago, dressed up like the green man but in all black, stoping any and all kinds of crime like a true hero. An by night his just Kenny Paul Jacobs who runs the Snake Pit Bar on the south side of Chicago just like his old man did for all them years. But now in 2015 here in Chicago crime in the city is going to an all new level and then some my peeps by far and away pimpin. Because of the newly elected Mayor of Chicago here in 2015 Mayor Ryan Montana ( Christpher Lambert ) the king pin the king of all mob bosses world wide. An the Mayor Ryan Montana wants to know who this so called super hero "Captain Hammered" really is in life and who the people are that his loves in his so called life, so he the new mayor of chicago Ryan Montana, can kill them all right in front of are drunkass hero's face and then kill are hero Kenny Paul Jacobs aka Captain Hammered, so are bad guys lead by the Mayor Ryan Montana can take over the city of Chicago for good. An then one night at the Snake Pit Bar, Ryan Montana right hand man Jack Oliver ( Adrian Paul ) done caught Kenny Paul Jacobs drunk ass putting on his Captain Hammered super hero gear and fighting crime outside the bar. So Jack Oliver kidnaps his love interest and regular at the bar Miss. Nancy Love ( Sheryle Crow ). ( She is the solo acoustic guitar player \ singer act who love playing the Snake Pit Bar each week for free drinks ). An so now Kenny Paul Jacobs aka Captain Hammered must get drunk 24\7 so he can fight throught Mayors' Ryan Montana's gang to get to him so are hero he can stop the crime wave in the city and save his dream woman from death. We take a shot for every time i say Kenny Paul Jacobs a. Look cast who ever the f*ck you want just get this f*cking idea into gear movie makers and don't go overboard with budget because it's about the interaction not the action um k big sexy. But my way is a for sure cult classic hit coming at you, that will live on forever and always like a champ. So trust me on this one big wigs for real lee o big dog EEEs. O am busting a nut in my pants just thinking about it players. super hero dramedy gold baby ! Take it to the bank BOOM !)
Creation 3D ( So in 1931, 40 degrees south of the equator, off the coast of southern Chile, not far from Patagonia, the luxury yacht Titan rests at anchor. On board ship is wealthy American tycoon Thorton Armitage along with his young son Billy, his socialist daughter Elaine, her large soft aunt Louise, and Billy's personal tutor Steve, who will eventually emerge as the hero. Steve is teaching little Billy about evolution and Billy compares each of his family to different dinosaur, his aunt reminds him of a Brontosaurus, his father a T.Rex. Meanwhile, below deck the seductive Elaine enters and flirts with Steve; thrilled at the thought that Elaine loves him, Steve grabs her in his arms. Elaine's fiancee, Ned Hallet, watches from a distance as the two kiss. When Steve looks to confess his love for Elaine, he is stunned as she explains that the kiss meant nothing. Embarrassed and enraged, Steve threatens to quit the crew, While above deck the passengers can see ominous storm clouds are brewing.
With freak suddenness a tempest is upon them, through whirling sea's they see a submarine dispatched from the Chilean navy, in an effort to save the Armitage party, the Chilean captain enters and encourages the crew of the Titan to board the submarine. All of sudden a massive waterspout forms, tears the Titan from its anchorage, and hurls it away. From the churning waters, a massive earthquake thrusts up a huge rocky promontory. The beautiful yacht is then dashed upon the new island and is destroyed just as the submarine dives beneath the surging waves. The submarine is pulled downward by the rise of the rocky headland and spirals out of control. Buffeted by the surging currents and thrown off course the stunned crew and passengers find themselves inside a deep underwater ravine. The submarines' crew look through the port hole to see green water filled with strange monsters, their amazement is cut short with a sudden jolt as the sub runs aground on a volcanic shelf, the submarine then surfaces to find its self on a tropical lake surrounded by steep cliffs. They have traveled through deep underwater caverns and have surfaced in the cauldron of an extinct volcano.
The crew soon discover that dinosaurs exist on the island and promptly escape from a stampede of Brontosaurs. Later on shore, the Chilean crew are attacked by a prehistoric rhinoceros-like mammal known as an Arsinotherium while trying to cross a log bridge. The Arsinotherium gores many of the sailors to death, before knocking the fleeing sailors from the log bridge into the raging river below; weak with horror, Steve stumbles through the jungle back to the others and just avoids been killed by a bull Woolly Mammoth. The survivors assuming that they will never see civilization again, build a shelter to live in on a high cliff over looking the lush valley. After Ned Hallet shoots a Brontosaurus (now Apatosaurus), the sauropod retaliates by destroying one of the shelters with its long neck, and its is Elaine that saves everyone by striking a burning torch into the beasts mouth. Everyone is furious with Hallet for putting them in danger; Hallet leaves the camp in anger after being scolded and takes his frustration out on a baby Triceratops. The mother rushes to the aid of the dying infant and gores Hallet to death.
Steve then takes command over the group and decides to repair the radio from the sub, but needs a replacement leyden jar for it to work. While the survivors are exploring ancient ruins, looking for a replacement leyden jar, a block gives way, causing Elaine to fall. Elaine is attacked by a Pteranodon which is driven off by Steve. Shortly afterwards, the crew are chased into a temple by an aggressive Stegosaurus. The crew is then trapped between the Stegosaurus and a Tyrannosaurus which lives in the temple. Rather than kill the crew, the two dinosaurs fight one another. In the end, the Tyrannosaurus kills the Stegosaurus and feeds it to its infant as the crew escapes.
After searching the temple, the crew discover a type of metal jar which they could use to get their radio working. The crew try to send out an S.O.S., but the volcano begins to erupt, causing mass hysteria among the dinosaurs. A Pteranodon crashes into the tower used to conduct the signal, leaving the crew stranded to be killed by the erupting volcano. Facing death, Elaine and Steve finally confess their love for one another. As Billy faints from heat exhaustion, then rescue planes arrive and land on the boiling lake and save the crew from certain doom.
Aboard the rescue ship, Thorton Armitage boasts of his group's adventures. Everyone is sceptical about his claims, when suddenly a Pteranodon exhausted from its long flight, falls aboard the ships deck, proving his story to be true. The film ends with Steve and Elaine sharing a laugh as they look forward to their new life together. reation is an unfinished 1931 feature film, and a project of stop motion animator Willis O'Brien. That needs to be done in 2014 in real 3D. Put in some big name acts and boom a new hit movie that makes that money son ! An yes the movie takes place back in 1931 keeping that classic feel an mojo in this PG 13 new movie champs. THE GOOD STUFF.)