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You think you better than me.

1. Take a 300lbs + size lady to the Bone Zone baby!

2. get a tramp stamp of your X's face on your ass.

3. fall into a fire because you wanted a wicked scare as a "tat". (I really did this once) 

4.You turn gay for the night and or strate for the night if your gay. 

5. A man  you done got kicked out of a strip club for getting up on stage and doing the hellacopter. (WOO! Look out for the wiggler! ) 

6 So your drunk as f*ck and your telling all the hot chicks dick jokes until there boy friends  take you out back and beat to d*mn near death like a pack of wild animals. ( Yeah Not Funny at all.) 

7. Karaoke songs of the 1980's. ( Thanks Wiskey!) 

8. Hookers Hookers and more hookers with meany lines of Coke and what not.

9. A you shit your pants in your sleep because you got so f*cked up that you died in you sleep for a sec.

10. you wake up outside but naked infrount of your x's house. (So thats the old Andy Dick move right there peeps.)

Yo do you remember that one time when did that dumass sh*t

11.Bang your mom's best bud because she wants to be a cougar that is tons of fun if you know what I mean.

12. wake up not knowing why your ass hurts and why the place smells like sex.

13. after going out for your promotion at work you wake up to a call from your boss telling you your fired!

14. got your thing stuck in your zipper and got piss all over your pants because you cant stand up.

15. piss in you wife's purse.

16. wake up on the shitter.

17. pick a fight with the bigest guy at a biker bar by smackin his old ladies ass & blowing her a };-) ( So yeah i didn't know that place was Bi bar. Ruff night on my ass that time.) 
18.wake up in jail with puke all over your self and a black eye after geting you ass kicked by a hooker.

19. night got so out of controlle you have to go do a confessional even though your not catholic.

20. spend the night tackling trees.

21. circle of death game leads waking up in the ER with a dildo stuck in your bum bum.

22. Woke up at  truck stop agian wearing a deer carcass and you but up agianst a glory hole. "You Just got bucked!"

23. When at your 3rd intervention you think to your self. "The late place i remember being was being in rehab so why is this going on for the 2nd time."

24. Your Rocking out with your cock out at a guitar hero tournament when your the only person drunk. 

25. When you say O crap i just blacked out there for a minute. So what was i doing agian? More times in one day than an old man with altimers.

26. You wake up with a tat on you ass with the saying please enter in hole and when trying to take a sh*t your turds are not coming out because you have to much cum in your bum bum. 

27. Sleeping outside trashed as hell in middle of the winter when it's -2%. 

28.  Sleep with a whole pack of nasty a*s b*tches all at the time is fun but your going to need a check up when you come to. 

29. So it's 4am and am at a fast food place piss pants drunk. ( But am not drunk!)

30. So you got your dick caught all the way into your jeans but f*ck it your going back for more drinks anyways to take the pain away.

#31 Your a grown person but your about to call your mom so you can cry because that just how trashed you are right now.

#32 The only thing you have said the past 15min is F*CK THEM KiDS!


#34 Your having sex with your friends wife right in front of him in his own home.  (Am doin that now at the same time as i type ah yes good times.) 

#35 On your way to jail you piss your pants just to piss of the cops. ( Did that once for real.)

#36 Your playing with your self at work.

#37 Your mom is looking good tonight dog! O wait am just drunk as sh*t.

#38 Am watching pro wrestling and am yelling at the t.v none stop.

#39. Am out of weed. So duah am drunk as all hell.

#40. Am reading the Bible on the john so god d*mn i must be drunk. An trust me these beer sh*ts are ruff bro!

#41 Am jacking off but i can't get off so yep am real drunk right now. 

( its sad to say but most of these things I have really done but thank goodness i cant remember a lot of them nights.) 

FYi: am in a stuper right now.

Now what was i doing agian?

P.M.S: Spelling is for NERDS! 


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