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WTF

FTW
Published September 15, 2010 More Info »

Gay ( as in bad ) ass Bar Pick UP Lines

Man i feel like getting shit faced tonight ! So lets go back to your place ( or mine ) so can i eatout your butthole  um k champ. 

Well blow me down CapEM ! ( i got coke ) 

My pants are getting tight , so could you help me get them off  };-]

Am not feeling gay but we can do the happy dance at my place if you want guys. 

Hey ladies };-{) double finger bangers. 

My parents are dead so i have the place all to myself if you ladies are down for a house party ! . 

Don't worry ladies i have my Red Wings. 

i smell blood ! Yeah a little fun fact about us vampire types we can always smell a menstrual cycle , so what you say , we jump into a casket so i can suck your blood ! 

i smell pussy ! Now who wants to fuck ! 

Yeah she was a real G.i. HO ! But am single now so am game for whatever. 

Could you check my balls for cancer for me ;-) 

Yep ladies and gents ( i go both ways ) i once got pink eye from brown eye if you know what i mean. 

Key party my house now , so follow me ! 

Yeah i was in Orgy but not the band so you know i get down.  Hiyo ! 

Am feeling wet and wild tonight guys , so buy me a damn drink you assholes ! 

Yeah my friends got me a hooker once ( more than once )  but i puked in her pussy because i don't like the smell of cologne you know what am sayin ladies. 

Piss and shit on me all you want because that just gets me off baby ! 

Fun Facts

Fun fact Mullets their still big in W.V. and so are the Jerry Curls. ( W.V. the dirtball kid of the 50's states ) 
( An i live in W.V. and am a dirt ball so i think i would know um k ! ) 

Fun Fact Kenny Loggins is still making money of his old 80's songs that he made for movies. 
( Kenny Loggins new band should start making songs for movies. An Hell whatever happened to making songs just for movies you know man ! ) 

10  Sex Fun Fact : ( For Real i looked it up and copied it  ) 

1) The most ejaculatory orgasms ever recorded in 1 hour for a man is 16. 
(  Now that is going to be a hard one to beat. ) 

2) The farthest a woman has been recorded to ejaculate is about 9'29" (3 m). 
( That standard so the real recorded has not been recorded ) 

3) The greatest distance attained for a jet of semen that has ever been recorded is 18'9" (5.71 m) which was achieved with a "substantial" amount of seminal fluid by Horst Schultz.  ( The man really saved up for that day a.  ) 

4) The average speed of a man's ejaculation is 28 miles (45.05 km) per hour. The average speed of a city bus is 25 miles (40.22 km) per hour. 
(  The record hasn't been set yet so have at it buds. ) 

5) Having swallowed the most amount of semen ever officially recorded Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints (0.96 liter) of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991. ( Fun fact semen can kill you and damn sure can f*ck up your life ladies ! ) 

6) The female gangbang world record is owned by a woman named Houston who had intercourse with 620 men in one day! A video was made of this historic event. As it took about 10 hours (with a few very brief breaks) to do it, the average time of intercourse was less than 58 seconds. ( minute men ) 

7) Women hold the record for having the most orgasms. The biggest amount of orgasms enjoyed by a woman in 1 hour ever recorded is a p*ssy shattering 134 ! 
(  Pussy is like Pringles once you pop they can't stop.  ) 

8) The male gangbang world record goes to porn actor Jon Dough who worked himself over 55 women in one day. He had 5 to 6 ejaculations. Actually, he was supposed to have had intercourse with at least 101 women, but he did the other 46 two weeks later. ( Chester Anuszak aka Jon Dough , was an American pornographic actor who worked steadily from 1985 to 2006. He died in 2006 at the age 43 from suicide.  ) 

9) The record of the man who has had intercourse the most frequently goes to a man who was recorded to have had intercourse about 52,000 times over a period of 30 years. This means he had intercourse on average 33.3 times a week! ( An that man was Wilt Chamberlain he died for Heart failure in 1999 and he was STD free. how i don't know but he did it alright.  ) 

10) Youngest Father - Sean Stewart, of Sharnbrook, England, became the father of a healthy 6 lb. baby boy on January 20, 1998, at age 12 
RSS ( So his son is 17 now and his 29. Side-note : man i wish my hot teachers would have had sex with me back in schooling days you know ! ) 

( more fun fact soon to cum. ) 
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