It feels like Doug Ellin is itching for this to happen. Vince has been bombarded with everything from stalkers to car crashes to plane jumpings out of to a classic case of the blues. Somebody wants this guy dead, and by somebody I mean everybody. Although his death is inevitable, hereâs to hoping it happens sooner than later in some really boring, talentless way.
Sometimes you honestly canât tell how old a girl is, but that honestly wasnât the case when E hooked up with the clearly 14-year old tween otherwise known as Ashley, his then neighbor. Hopefully her lawyers have been building the case for the past year or so, giving E something really juicy to pout about for at least three episodes.
Who would of thunk it? This little minx has knowledge aplenty, passions outside of her true passion, if you will. Whether sheâs cooking up some penis pancakes, enjoying a film at the Nuart, or taking literary cues from Oscar Wilde, Sasha Grey is single handedly reminding the world that hey, porn stars are just regular, well-rounded people who also recognize that a cum shot can pay your cell phone bill.
Speaking of cell phones, you know Vince hooked the whole gang up with new iPhones. Since Ari and E spend a good chunk of every episode on their phones, America wants to know: yay or nay on the iPhone4? Ari canât afford to have calls dropped espesh since heâs about to deservingly own a football team. âAT&T blows,â just isnât going to cut it. This is the NFL for Christ sakes. âSaigon, Saigon!? Hey man, itâs Turtleâ¦Turtle, I used to be your manager, can you hear, Saigon!? Hello? Sai- Nooooooooooo!â As a former chauffeur and failing entrepreneur, Turtle cannot afford to have his calls dropped. There's an ep for that.
Jessica Simpson has always been somewhat of a creature of mystery in Hollywood and now that we've gotten a taste of her life, now that we've wet our palettes, well, we're hungry for more info, and also hungry in general. So many questions: Was that her dog in real life? Was that a happy weight for her? Does she have 98 Degrees on her iPod? Does she even have an iPod? If they keep booking these A list guest spots, people will keep watching for at least three more episodes.
Always nice to check in with that great eating establishment. Who got oatmeal (Iâm looking at you E) and who got a simple glass of OJ? Stay Tuned.
Not since High School sex education videos has there been a more accurate portrayal of sex in the butt. Excuse me, Sasha Grey but it's not all, âOooh, aah, use this hole tonight, Iâm flexible.â Things get tense, people get confused but not so confused that Wikipedia can't set them straight. E and Sloan really brought it back to reality when they started laughing. Sometimes we have to step back, reflect and say something like, âWhat are we doing here? I mean, I know weâre trying anal but for what? For who?â Something like that.
A la Glee, Vince will do a lackluster rendition of , âI Will Survive,â upon hearing he was fired from his latest action flick. Turtle will croon a sultry version of Tom Waitsâ, âThe One Who Got Away,â whilst staring at a headshot of Jamie Lynn Sigler. Ari will hike up to the Hollywood sign and belt out Bryan Adamsâ, â(Everything I Do) I Do It For You,â and E will inexplicably dress up in drag and sing a gutsy interpretation of Cherâs, âIf I Could Turn Back Time.â
Because he wouldnât even have to look at the script to say, âBaby bro, you got a huge dick..â