is it just me or is every "super model" look like a transvesdike or did i say to much already.
2 and a half men ("Hey CBS you should call the show 3 men that a gay together now days! Am i right or am i right!")
Beating off to pron while taking a crap & eating with a belt around your neck.
Pulling an Andy Dick on the weekends.
just about everything the goverment has ever done. (like the 911 firerfighters not geting checks untill they find out there not terrorists. REALLY!)
geting high and watch spongebob in your 20s at your parents.
sleeping with teddy bears in your 50s
Hit up the ATM to do a little ATM
Double Fisting or ever better a double spocker (Double Spocker: 4 in the pink and 4 in the stink.)
Cruises around in your 1995 buick lesbre trying to pick up chick on the highway. (Hey it has worked before but you have got to keep an eye out for them STDs because you don't need that now you hear! )
Go on Springer to tell your mom you have been sleeping with your step sister that you grow up with. or even better on the Steve Wilkos show because you also beat the living sh*t out of her. Just for know reason.
Go out with the home boyz get drunk & Karaoke Born to Wild in Wal-Mart (True story)
Starting a Hootie & The Blowfish cover band.
Sleeping with Lisa Lampanelli or even thinking about it for that matter. (One sec i have to go throw up now.)
Buying Pirates season ticks (and that coming from a diehard pirates fan you all) "They been driving fans to drink since 1887."
Rocking the rat tail made from your but hair. (its like you really have a tail.)
Licking it for 10$(you know where that money is going! Right back to your pimp so he can get some rocks.)
Describing your sex self life to your family members.
Eating out the B hole. O!
Going to a gang bang at a whore house with no rubbers or cash.
Wipe your gandpapa's ass all day long just for the hell of it.
( i can't wait to wipe your ass old man.)
That a*shole firend that keeps you doing shots untell you black out so they can magic maker your face and take pics of your junk to post up online, so you never get laid agian. ("story of my life right there people".)
Tell the chick your best friend likes that his gay so you can hook up with her so you can pound her in browntown. if you know what am geting at ;-0
Start a protest to get Paul Reiser's show back on the air on NBC. (i tryed watching it but i must of been the only one.)
Steal a neckless so you can be cell mates with lindsay lohan so you can do but drugs with her.
Raw doging it on a first date with a X hooker.
Tell the cougars at the bar its like a shacka racklamb of my jimmy jam thing baby! (O it works!)
Start Sleeping with your moms/dads best friend. (what ever your into)
Let your dog and neighborhood watch you have sex with crack heads.
Bong a beer using your ass.
The only place for the turth Fox news.
Trying and top Nicoals Cage by toping how meany random cars he jumped into drunk when runing from the cops. ( am up to 5 myself.)
Pick up the ladies by telling them your the backup QB for the Panthers.
John Travolta at a Bath House ( O Johnny boy your such a rascal)
Penn State football. You know what you did you sick twisted old farts.
A gang bang Key Party. because if its a gang bang there is know need for the keys.
A wright in vote for Roseanne Barr for president. (its her or Johnson for me.)
Cougar Bars all day every day son!. (An then pancakes at the stip club in the AM time.)
You because you just read this dumb ass sh*t.
Jacking off to the Jerry Springer show 5 nights a week, and on the weekends your mom's friends list. (Hell if your lucky you might even get to stick in one of there buts.)
I'll be here all week and every week until someone kills me off for good.
So taker easy and if she is easy taker twice good budiez!
rub one out at office and as always you don't clean up after your self.
Picking up chicks by waiting outside the jails and prison in your area. So you can take them home to meet your parents (because you stil live there) so you don't have to tell them why you have never been on date before in your whol life.
P.S Cum check out my new band Balls Out, we will be playing at a local strip club near you. (An we are so hard!) We be Jamin them Hootie and the Blowfish songs all morning long baby!