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Republicans have finally released their definitive list of what the American people want.
Published October 08, 2011 More Info »
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The tags are there to get your attention
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Published October 08, 2011

New hockey team Anal rape (lubeless/sandpaper condom) A New way to eat pizza A gun in every house, personal Barack Obama clone cooking in every kitchen, nothing stew in every pot, Barack Obama clone chauffeur in every garage A new definition for compromise   Pay Per View death penalty stravaganza (all proceeds used to pay for Bush tax cuts) Less government more free time for government officials Misrepresentations of iconic figures, things they said, and things they did New ways and means to be racist with out coming off as racist Legislation making it legal for white people to drop the n bomb An official/notarized thank you from black people for the "free ride" Penis shortening for the all intensive purposes of creating an even playing field/equal opportunity/ feeling of adequacy An immediate hault of all dancing anywhere (aka footlose act) More Sarah Palin less common sense Outlawing of gay sex outside of an airport bath room stall, weekend bender, with provisions protecting the "I was drunk I swear," "he sucked my dick... im not a queer," and "do as I say not as I do" defense. Weekly monster truck rallies in all major cities across the u.s. Referendum on pumpkin colored spray on tan Diplomatic immunity for 1% of population (guess which one)

Less regulation more boneless wing specials at upstanding establishments such as bw3, applebee's, fridays, sizzler, and hooters A bottle of catsup for every steak Outlawing the use of the word ketchup making catsup the only appropriate nomenclature for such a divine product Exploratory committee to determine if the holocaust really happened and if Hitler was actually "that bad of a guy" New episodes of 'Jake & The Fat Man' and 'Dr. Quin Medicine Woman' Featured length movie based on the TV show Xena Warrior Princess starring Michelle Bachman and Christine O'Donnell Razor blade Tooth Brush's B.O. scented deodorant New National Anthem written by Darius Rucker and Randy Newman Cheaper yearly dues for members of NAMBLA Legislation forcing every American to become a member of NAMBLA Creed, George Thorogood, and Nickelback forming a super group called "Feces Speaking" Government spending on casette tape technology