New hockey team
Anal rape (lubeless/sandpaper condom)
A New way to eat pizza
A gun in every house, personal Barack Obama clone cooking in every kitchen, nothing stew in every pot, Barack Obama clone chauffeur in every garage
A new definition for compromise
Pay Per View death penalty stravaganza (all proceeds used to pay for Bush tax cuts)
Less government more free time for government officials
Misrepresentations of iconic figures, things they said, and things they did
New ways and means to be racist with out coming off as racist
Legislation making it legal for white people to drop the n bomb
An official/notarized thank you from black people for the "free ride"
Penis shortening for the all intensive purposes of creating an even playing field/equal opportunity/ feeling of adequacy
An immediate hault of all dancing anywhere (aka footlose act)
More Sarah Palin less common sense
Outlawing of gay sex outside of an airport bath room stall, weekend bender, with provisions protecting the "I was drunk I swear," "he sucked my dick... im not a queer," and "do as I say not as I do" defense.
Weekly monster truck rallies in all major cities across the u.s.
Referendum on pumpkin colored spray on tan
Diplomatic immunity for 1% of population (guess which one)
Less regulation more boneless wing specials at upstanding establishments such as bw3, applebee's, fridays, sizzler, and hooters
A bottle of catsup for every steak
Outlawing the use of the word ketchup making catsup the only appropriate nomenclature for such a divine product
Exploratory committee to determine if the holocaust really happened and if Hitler was actually "that bad of a guy"
New episodes of 'Jake & The Fat Man' and 'Dr. Quin Medicine Woman'
Featured length movie based on the TV show Xena Warrior Princess starring Michelle Bachman and Christine O'Donnell
Razor blade Tooth Brush's
B.O. scented deodorant
New National Anthem written by Darius Rucker and Randy Newman
Cheaper yearly dues for members of NAMBLA
Legislation forcing every American to become a member of NAMBLA
Creed, George Thorogood, and Nickelback forming a super group called "Feces Speaking"
Government spending on casette tape technology