Miss anything this Sunday? Not a problem. This will be like Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback, but I won't be picturing myself making out with Brett Favre the whole time.
Vick is Back! Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife, etc
Peyton vs. Eli
While Peyton was spending the second half of the Colts victory over the Giants giving Eli noogies, Giants running back Brandon Jacobs tossed his helmet into the stands in frustration. Upon seeing this shameless display of immaturity, Peyton relinquished his little brother, only to tell him the Easter Bunny isn't real and high-five their father.
Packers Prove the Bills are the Worst
The Bills are the worst team in the NFL. Right now it seems that they're playing in hopes that commissioner Roger Goodell will give them all 32 picks in the first round of next year's draft. Is that possible? No. But they deserve it. (Admittedly, I'm a Bills fan. This is unfortunate, as in all other aspects of my life, I aspire to happy person. It's gotten to the point where I watch Bills games in the hopes that they don't look like a fake team. I'm actually surprised their opponents aren't coming out wearing Harlem Globetrotters uniforms.)
Hope You Had Matt Schaub on Your Fantasy Team
Favre is Old. This Much We Know
Brick Killed a Guy
The Jets Won. But Did They?
The Jets handed New England a surprising defeat. But more importantly, in the second quarter, Jets coach Rex Ryan asked his defense to tie Tom Brady to a railroad track as a trained approached. But after the train appeared to pummel the movie stuntman/model/part-time quarterback, Brady walked away unscathed. He then pleasured every female fan in the crowd. Disappointed with his team's inability to crush the dashing star, Rex Ryan ordered his team to go eat a goddamn snack.