Hey, itâs topical. Jobs is known for his black turtle necks and jeans, which is a pretty cheap outfit for the richest man in the world. If you are very insensitive, you could go as Zombie Steve Jobs. Zombies are really âinâ right now.
The good thing about dressing as Gervais is that you can be his âbeforeâ picture or his âafterâ picture, meaning he used to be a big fat guy. So if youâre obese you can go as âEarly Ricky Gervaisâ and if youâre in shape you can go as âPresent Day Ricky Gervais.â Although, if you have a beard or big sunglasses you must go as Present Day Ricky Gervais. Looking like Gervais isnât enough, youâre going to have to act like him. Make sure you speak in a British accent and have a really loud laugh. Maybe make a speech that turns into a roast where you insult all the party attendees. If you want it to be really topical, call all the dumb people âmongs,â and plug your new show Life Too Short and season 2 of HBOâs The Ricky Gervais Show. You could also discuss how you just joined Twitter and say âAll this fan mail gets old, yeah?â
So you have a black shirt but you happen to have a weird mustache? Not a problem. Actor James Franco frequently wears black shirts and just happens to have a really weird âstache. Carry a big stack of scripts and textbooks with you and say âYeah, Iâm enrolled in twenty five colleges right now and am in the middle of shooting about twelve art films. So I guess Iâm pretty busy.â Then you can either get high or act like youâre really high, either way works.
Louis CK or Chris Rock
If youâre a balding red head, you can go as the great comedian Louis CK. If youâre a thin African American gentleman, you can go as Chris Rock. If you have a friend of the opposite race, consider going as Louie and Rock together, since theyâre friends in real life. This is probably a bad idea, since you wonât be as funny as either one and youâll just end up being some guy in a black t-shirt that keeps getting asked âwhereâs your costume?â
Yanni or Kenny G
Whatâs the difference between Yanni and Kenny G? There isnât one because nobody knows or cares. If you have a huge mustache, go as Yanni. If you have weird hair and look unshaven, go as Kenny G. Well, Iâm just guessing because I donât know which one is which. Also, get a saxophone or whatever it is that they play.
The Man In Black/Black Smoke Monster
This costume is about a year late but LOST fans will still appreciate it. Youâll also need three other supplies: a friend, a recording of a clicking sound, and a bag of charcoal. You also may want to carry around a numbered list of everyone at the party and cross off names as the night goes on. Once at the party, say hello to everyone. Make sure to act like youâre mad at someone and then leave the room. Once youâre gone, Have your friend light the charcoal so that it generates a bunch of black smoke and then have him turn on the tape of the clicking sound. People will be like âWhereâs all that smoke coming from?â , âWhatâs that noise?â ,âWhere did the Man In Black guy go?â, and âOh my God, weâre all going to die!â Soon there will be a ton of black smoke covering the room. Maybe have your friend taser or electrocute a few guys while the smoke is heavy. Once the smoke dies down, youâll appear right where the smoke was. Everyone will wonder if you really are the Black Smoke Monster. When you appear, make sure to say something cryptic like âIâm sorry you had to see me like that.â Finally, break a bunch of wine bottles and say âYou canât contain me anymore, Jacob. You canât contain me.â
If you have long hair and plan on getting belligerently drunk, you may want to consider going as Ozzy Osbourne. That way, you can say a bunch of stuff that nobody understands yet remain completely in character. Optional accessories include fake tattoos and a bat which you will bite the head off of (real or fake, itâs up to you).
The Man In Black, self explanatory.