Paul Ryan's Pre-VP Debate Workout

Hold your position - even if your position on guns, women, and gays is completely outdated.

It's one of the most traditional exercises out there. Straight and masculine, so you don't feel gay when you go down.

Isn't life incredible? The very idea that we, as living, breathing human beings can stand on our heads and build our upper body strength is truly a gift from God.

Inject power into those hamstrings and money back into America's failing financial system .

Express the morality of rational self-interest while scultping those traps!

Because full sit ups are for the proletariat.

Dip those tris and dip that spending!

It's hard to do squats this intense when you're only eating two meals a day.

I'll show you a hate crime - a weak core!

Chop away at millions of student grants while workin those side abs.