If life ever has you down all you need is an episode of Taboo USA on the National Geographic Channel to cheer yourself right up (check your local listings, no seriously, do it). You’ll instantly feel better about yourself, very quickly in fact; realizing how completely normal you actually are. Sure, you may sing in the shower, eat the crème part of the Oreo first, or even do the Buffalo Bill in the mirror when the mood strikes. But you’ll never top these people. And that’s sickly satisfying. From turning yourself into a lizard to eating laundry detergent and even eating lizards and turning yourself into laundry detergent, here’s a compiled list of some of my personal favs from Taboo USA.
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1: Man Has Sex With Car

                                                                                                                                             Typically our cars are always screwing us. Breaking down on the Interstate, those pesky oil changes. This guy turns that around and, well, you know. Not sure why, but, hey, judge not less ye be judged. I mean, maybe I should consider it. After all, I do always manage to turn my car on. Seriously, the section heading says it all. There's no need for any humor writing here.                                                                                                                             

2: Mom! Stanley's Being a Big Baby!

                                                                                                                                                   We all have difficulties in letting go of the past. But rather than living vicariously through his son or buying a Dodge Avenger (I assume he's on a tight budget) this guy makes an entire shit storm out of the problem. Digging deep in the memory bank, clear back to infancy. Ha! And my mom thinks I'm immature.

3: Mom! Boomer Shit on the Floor Again!

1168122_in-the-dog-house_u4otpkuoohegc34cxym6cgqbe3ncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_610x457.jpg                                                                                                                                                        As if having the name Boomer isn't weird enough this guy has to challenge the balance of things. This guy literally thinks he is a dog. He wears collars, sleeps in a dog house, barks, and humps pillows... Again. The humor writes itself. Also, if you look closely at the picture you should realize the stricking resemblence betwen the guy on the left and the giant teddy bear in the back. You know, that is if you aren't entranced by the guy who thinks he's a dog.

4: Sadomasochism: A Walk in the Park

65365_puppy-play_2celqsmn7wjoruiarckfuqxvt7ncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_610x457.jpg                                                                                                                                                  You know how I said earlier, "judge not less ye be judged?" Please do so, because this is fucking weird. Judging is really just a natural defense mechanism that protects you from being carved into meat patties in a basement or falling victim to a ruthless dominatrix like this one. This leather wearing fun-time likes to dress guys up as a sex-dog-robot things and walk them around the park, among other things... I wonder if her favorite position is doggystyle.

5: Love At First Skin Tight.

65367_zentai-lovers_2celqsmn7wjoruiarckfuqxvt7ncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_610x457.jpg                                                                                                                                                    On this year's "National Relationship Day" just take a minue to think about this: Your single, I'm single, yet this guy is engaged, probably married by now and madly in love. And he wears skintight body suits. It's a fetish known as zentai. What's say about my personality?... On the brighter note I bet it's really hard for him to hide his boner.