I never thought I would get to type these words but here it goes: WEED IS LEGAL (in 8 years). Say goodbye to your shady pot dealer because that dude is out of a job. Now people buy their weed packs in a gas station, right next to the Pall Malls and Virginia Slims. Oh and they’re called Puff Dragons, or at least Silas’ brand is. I think that’s a great name for a smoking product, Puff Dragons. Nothing says “not for children” more than a Puff the Magic dragon reference.
WARNING Not for kids
If stopping at a gas station to buy weed isn’t your thing, then why not go to one of Nancy’s weed cafes? There you can buy weed pastries or even a weed drink (that apparently turns people towards a religious cult run by Doug?). The logistics are confusing but one thing is for sure; the drug war is over and it’s all thanks to Nancy, Silas and big tobacco.
When we see future-Shane for the first time, he is a mustachioed alcoholic who hangs out with Natasha Lyonne (playing herself). He drinks whisky before lunch and discharges his firearm at cakes, showing us that he might be in a bad place right now.
We’re led to believe that his fall from grace was caused by his family’s success or the legalization of weed or both. Either way, Shane is not happy and Nancy sees it. She tells him that he needs to get better and helps him realize that checking into rehab is the next step. Hopefully with treatment, Shane will return to the normal, compulsive, murderous kid we know and love.
I was very happy to see that Obama is now a common first name for African American children. It makes total sense too. I have tons of friends named Van Buren and Coolidge. And Harrison.
With a future first name like Obama (being named after an actual person), we can now expect hipsters and ‘artists’ to stop naming their babies Racer and Google and other stupid shit like that.
With the unveiling of the iPhone 5 last week, everyone is thinking the same thing: what is the next one going to look like?!? Well, since Apple agreed to unveil the iPhone 10 in Sunday night’s ‘Weeds’ episode, we can all rest easy knowing that it’s badass and clear and everyone has one.
The coolest thing about it is that it is totally see-through. The body of the phone is made up of some sort of see-through plastic, which can only mean that future phones won’t need A6 chips or circuit boards or even a battery of any kind. It’s all in the cloud now! It comes with a hologram keyboard, works as some sort of laundromat recognition system and starts your car for you. Tim Cook, if you are still reading this, great work my friend.
The final shot of ‘Weeds’ finds the entire Botwin family (except for Stevie) passing around a joint and not saying a word.
This is a great way to end the series because it’s exactly what we’ve all been waiting for. We don’t need to see Nancy hold her granddaughter or Andy interact with his nephews, all we need is some good ol’ family drug use. I’m glad to see that despite everything they’ve gone through, the Botwins can still puff puff pass in complete silence, just how we remember them. Wait...