Hall of Fame
Hi and thanks for joining me for my 5 Point Plan For Safer Airline Security.
Firstly, dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place...
Secondly, replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
3. The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, happy to see naked women!!
4. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money! I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
5. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
PS: Don't tell Hillary you've seen this memo!!