Seeing so many awful QBs on the field this season got me thinking. The NFL sure has seen quite a few absolutely brutal QBs try to lead their team to victory, fail miserably, run around aimlessly, throw seven picks and wind up in the CFL or at FedEx. Here's to you guys. Every one of you. Thanks for nothing ya jagoffs. Guess Tebow doesn't look that bad after all?

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Stats & Data

November 29, 2011

12 - Tarvaris Jackson


Tarvaris Jackson had some big shoes to fill when he jumped in for Brett 'check my weird lookin boner' Favre in 2010. After a couple terrible games T Jack proved two things - his accuracy is similar to Dick Cheney's on a quail hunt and he throws like a 3rd grader. Seriously. Its that bad. Somebody get this dude a vortex. 

11 - Charlie Batch


Charles Batch blows more dongs than a northeasterly wind at a nude beach. I remember fond memories of watching Charlie B on Thanksgiving and asking my old man, "Dad, does Charlie Batch have a vagina?" Guy just plain looked like an idiot out there. Even worse, he got cut by the LIONS to make room for Joey Harrington. That's like firing out a shit to make room for, well, another shit.

10 - Trent Dilfer


God Trent Dilfer is a douche. Guy was on a team with arguably the best defense in the last 20 years who won a Super Bowl and during the season he threw 12 TDs and 11 INTS. So, with stats like that nobody should listen to anything he has to say about football right? No? Oh, I guess we're going to give him a job analyzing other, way better quarterbacks on ESPN. No, that totally makes sense.

9 - Tim Rattay


I once knew a guy who was listing off his celebrity meet n greets and included Tim Rattay. I'd rather meet a pile of anuses. Tim Rattay had some MONSTER numbers his rookie year. One completion for -4 yards. Damn, Tim. Get down wit yo bad self. Anyone else wish Tim had a nasty rat-tail hangin out of the back of his helmet? 

8 - Patrick Ramsey


Patrick Ramsey. What's that? You don't know who the fuck he is? Exactly. Dude has been in the NFL for 9 seasons and has been with 9 teams. Yes, Steve Spurrier's short lived NFL coaching career may have had something to do with P-Rams mediocre career but it may have also been the dufflebag of dicks he sucked on a week to week basis. I don't know. I'm no Trent Dilfer.

7 - Matt Leinart


I mean Matty Leins is just one of the biggest douche-nozzles on the planet. Add to that his limited skill-set, 'I'm the greatest ever' attitude and brittle bone structure and you've got one pathetic excuse for an NFL QB. Literally, this guy is either injured or holding out for a contract. Then when he does play, he throws picks non-stop and blames everyone but himself. Hopefully he falls into a grizzly bear's mouth or something.

6 - Tim Couch


Tim Couch just plain played like a little school-boy biotch. Didn't help that he was thrown on a Cleveland Browns team destined for mediocrity. So, I guess he kinda got boned by the city of Cleveland. But, I recall when he was flushed out of the pocket and had to throw he looked like my blind cousin throwing a soggy cantaloupe. Didn't he also pump a bunch of HGH while trying to make a comeback? Makes sense...

5 - Chris Weinke


First off, Chris Weinke was like 35 when he played at Florida State. Somehow his bald ass won the Heisman. Then he was thrown on an absolutely brutal Carolina Panthers team. Then he went 1-15. Then everybody forgot about him. Now he uses tears as lube while crankin off. 

4 - Joey Harrington


Good ol' Joseph Harrington. We hardly knew ye. Seriously. We barely got to know you before you faded out of the spotlight like Fred Durst. I will say, Matt Millen's dumb ass had a lot to do with your terrible NFL career. But that pouty face and all those interceptions make me thinkie you weren't cut out for the big leagues. Plus his color analyzing of Ducks football was God awful.

3 - Akili Smith


Akili Smith was supposed to be the Jesus of the NFL combine. Guy ran like a 2.4 40 and could throw farther than John Elway. Too bad his 'Akili'-s heel was playing in the NFL. The minute he got in a game he flipped on the 'blow wangs' switch and couldn't win a ball game. He even tried to make it in the CFL and NFL Europe and couldn't do shit. Now that's when you know you're bad.

2 - Jamarcus Russell


Jamarcus Russell did two things most people thought were not possible - 1. He made Lane Kiffin look intelligent 2. He made Ryan Leaf look a little less terrible. He was supposed to be the Raider's savior but ended up stopping off at too many BKs during the off season. J-Marc eventually said 'fuck it' and nobody has seen him since. Cept Fat Joe. Those dudes are still tight from what I've heard.

1 - Ryan Leaf


Everyone and their mother knows about Ryan Leaf, his unbelievably shitty NFL career and his idiotic post game comments. The fact that this dude was talked about in the same sentence as Peyton Manning is just ridiculous. By now though, I kind of feel bad for the dude. Nah. He still sucks a hefty amount o' schlongs and deserves the number one spot on this list.