10 things worse than Death
10. Running out of deodorant before a job interview.
9. Running out of job interviews after you buy deodorant.
8. Donating money to WWF and realizing it's not the wrestling federation.
7. Mice who steal your last piece of cheese.
6. Cheeses that look like mice.
5. Seeing puppies cry.
4. Irritable bowl syndrome AND extreme constipation at the same time.
3. Imagining puppies cry.
2. Your mom catching you masturbate before saying "Go get 'em champ!"
Secret to Life
1. Thin Crust