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Am getting way to f*cking old for this mother f*cking sh*t God d*mn it all to f*cking H*LL !
Published March 15, 2011 More Info »
24 Funny Votes
4 Die Votes
Published March 15, 2011

Am about to kill your eye and hurt your head.

Walking around town with a boner. "Put that Little thing away Mr.!" and that is what she said ! An braking tables with my body for fun. 
Somking a bunch of weed to keep me from blacking out when drinking my life away. Because it's never really works when you get as drunk as i do brother!. "hell i even been so drunk that i sh*t myself in my sleep!  
Eating out White  trash on there PMS days. Ladies };-) 
Stay over night with friends as if i was 12 year or somthing. ;-( Get my own home right! 
Watching Cartoons at night until 6am every f*cking night ! ( Thanks Adult Swim.) 
taking bubble bathes and play with toy };-) you know what am sayin! 
Eating cookies for breakfast as i wake in bake with cheep ass weed i got off  a high school kid.(At least the cookies i eat are Vegan and organic.) 
Drink 40oz on the Street as i check out the hookers.
Rocking out the Cheap Trick tape to pick up the cougars when my mom has partys.
Dancing like a fool at the night clubs when am just about the only white person there. (i have a feeling am going to get my ass kicked bad if i keep it up.) 
Watching wrestling in my underpants & Hulkamaniac t-shirt with the rips in the back for the 80's. When jacking off to the divas.Because i never get any ass. 
Watching Jay Leno trying to be funny 5 nights a week. ( or any of them really.) 
Calling people gayballs, fags, hommo joe's, retarted, but darts and meany more things as such. (because really am the retarted.) 
 Doing the helicopter dance with my wang to impresse the ladies. ( Hey it works if you want a STD.) 
Thinking Mitt Romany has any idea what so ever of what his talking about. (He has more money in his pocket right now then all of us 99%ers combined.)Playing with G.i Joes because these babys are going to be worth somthing one day. Now if only i could keep them in the box. An knowing is half the battle. G.i Joe! For this crazy Middle East / Africa stuff going down these days. "Where is the love people! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHERE iS THE LOVE!"Hanging out with 21 year old girls when am 27. O! GOOD God man! Am a low life sick o!  Not working beacuse i need the time to track down my dreams ;-) "really its time to smoke weed and drink beer"Acting as if everything is going on is ok for me and its all for the best BS. typ of sh*t.Not geting laid by hot chicks.(So hit me up if you feel bad for me my lady.)Farting in the bath tube.Playing music in bars for the free drinks, cougars ass and fights with rednecks.Doing sh*t like this because i know people don't care at all what so ever.Living off my parents hospotality at 28 years old.Being the back door man an ladies am talking both ways you know what up!. (Because its do time for this dirtball to find a little stability in life. Because am f*cked!) Because tripping my balls off can't last for ever. 


top ten this on my wish list.

#10. For me to be in a orgy with a sh*t load of virgin nuns where am the only guy there in the in this orgy. 18 and up only ladies.  NOW THATS A LOT OF BLOOD !  am under the blood ;-) ;-)

#9. For me to becum superass rich just because people think that am cool dude. 

#8. 1,000 pounds of the best weed ever!. An i going to smoke it all by myself ! HAHAHA 

#7. A staring roll on a hit t.v show. Don't even care what show. Hell even just a staring roll in a movie will do her just fine buddy! 

#6. For Erin Burnett to dump her man and hook up with me so i can make that phat ass woman my first wife. Sidenote: Am thinking about becoming mormon so i can have a sh*t load of wives to take care of me and Erin Burnett can be the head b*tch yeah dig. 

#5. To party down with Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan at the same time so i can show these to want to bees how to really party hard. An then i f*ck them hard!  At same time!

#4. To become a pro wrestling God. O! YEAH!  DiG iT! 

#3.  Just one time let me beat the sh*t out of Dick Cheney. 

#2. To have my own beer company. "Hemp Beers." 

#1. An all i really want besides a bigger d*ck is for the Pittsburgh Pirates to win the World Series this year. 



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